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Mom has isolated herself with no interest in people or going out. Refuses help. I'm 6 hrs away and work full time. I call but she is accusing my sibling of coming to house and stealing (he is on west coast); thinks I'm divorced (untrue); makes up stories about doctor and surgery (untrue). It is getting worse and it takes everything I've got to call her and listen to these untruths and accusations. Friends have stopped calling because she sounds crazy. SHe lives alone in her home; refuses outside help for cleaning, meals, companionship -- won't let anyone in. Help.

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This is an interesting question. I too have a Mom with extreme paranoia. Has caused alot of trouble in the family. She too has no friends, she does go shopping almost daily. Won't go to a doctor because they are all after money. As is everyone under the sun, according to her.

The weirdest thing she does is not using the phone. She will answer the phone if you call her but she will not call anyone. She will not call and check on her sick siblings or even her daughter. She has probably called me three times in the past year. She had a power failure for three days and was angry because my brother didn't call to check on her. He had power, no idea she didn't. He pays for her cell phone but she won't call him either. I wonder if this is just a control thing.

I see no memory loss, just confuses stories at times. I have questioned if this is the beginning of dementia. Or just a personality problem. she has always been strange and negative. She will lie if it suits her story. But the papanoia is having an effect on her elder planning and could affect what we can do for her.

Just don't know what to make of it. And forget getting her evaluated. She won't go for that either.
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Someone needs to get into that house and see how she is living. She also should see a doctor asap and get diagnosed. If she has dementia she should not be left alone. Sounds to me like it is Dementia or Alzheimers. If so she is not taking her meds correctly, may not be eating correctly, washing up, etc..etc..etc..
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It sound like this has gotten to a serious point; I would be alarmed and take action. A local agency that deals in elder care issues should be contacted. Who they are depends what state she lives in.
It sounds to me like she has gotten to the stage of being a danger to herself. Some of these folks have also been known to become violent especially when confronted by strangers. Act now. The police are used to handling issues like this. The PD in the city your Mom lives in could probably direct you to the agency that could best handle this situation. You probably do need to be there. Otherwise she's likely to be terrified at strangers invading her space. As I understand it--I took a course by the Alzheimer's Assoc--paranoia is common with dementia/Alzheimer's.
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What a difficult, stressful situation for you! I agree with friends -- she sounds crazy -- probably dementia crazy, but I suppose it could have a different source/diagnois. She definitely needs help. It is difficult with you being so far away. Can you take some time off, visit, and try to get to the bottom of this?
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It sounds like dementia. Does she show signs of memory impairment, asking the sames questions over and over, not remembering what you just said to her? Can you go with her to a dr. apt. for an evaluation? That is what I would do because she may not be able to live alone anymore. Does she still drive? You can also call Adult Protective Services and they come to her home to evaluate her as well. It sounds like a serious situation and you should be there when Adult Protective Services comes to her home. Do you have keys to her house? Does she know who you are when you call her, does she call you by name? She may think you are relative who is divorced. Also after she is evaluated you will have to make some decisions for her care.My heart goes out to you!!
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