k111111 Asked January 2012

My uncle wants to move in with my mom and I but they do not get along. Should I let him move in with us?

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my uncle refuses a dr stated he knows when he has to go. i take care of my mom and i am totally disabled with alot of health problems. my uncle wants us to take him in but he and my mom don't get along it wouldn't work out. he wants to leave me and my brother his money when he dies. if i don't take him in, he may not want to give me any money. i don't want anything from him at all. he is good mentally but shakes and does need care but won't accept any. i even suggested telespond they can give him a bath and help him with meals. he stated i'm not ready yet for that. help thank you

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k111111 Jan 2012
thank you i will let you all know how this goes on into now and the future thank you
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195Austin Jan 2012
My short answer is no way read back some of the posts especially the grossed out my mother is using a toothbrush to comb her hair-most caregivers are sorry they ever arranged to have their elders move in with them. The thinking has changed about elders leaving you all their money in exchange for care-it cost about 25 dollars an hour for just aides and their money gets used up very quickly and since you already know your Mom and he do not get along it would be foolish to try it-let him use his money for assisted living or live in help until he is ready for another option-nursing homes cost about $450.00 a day and to get medicaide he would have to spend down his assests until he has very little money and give up his social security and pensions etc. I f he is difficult now just wait until he is using his money for you to care from him and if he has to be placed there is a 5 yr. look back period -any money he gave you would have to be paid back. If you want to help have him pay to see an Elder lawyer and you go with his to have your states rules for medicaide explanined to him-most elders who have some money think it is going to last forever-you might be surprised how little he actually has to spend-it would be good if you could keep us updated -because this can be a learning experience for many others.
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k111111 Jan 2012
thank you
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jeannegibbs Jan 2012
You should just say no.

Be kind. Tell him you are very sorry but your household already has too much disabilitiy and illness to cope with more.

If you feel you can and are willing to, offer to help him find appropriate placement or in-home care. Or put him in touch with a county caseworker.

If he needs care and pays for it (in his home or in a care center) he may not have anything to leave to anybody. That is a typical scenario among seniors who thought they'd have money to leave but need it for their own old age. Instead of worrying about who he will leave his money to he should be planning how to take care of himself. That is his first responsibility.
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k111111 Jan 2012
what shall we do
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jeannegibbs Jan 2012
I don't know what your question is, but I think you have the right answer. Your home is not the right place for him.
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