I'm 66-years-old and single. How do I tell my mother that I am going on a date without her getting mad?

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You're right, In most societies, (that have had a chance to mature) the generational process is more refined and the children do play thier role in the caretaking of aging parents. Unfortunately, I believe OUR society, (America) is too young to have worked all this out yet.
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godhelpus: For most of the world, that IS why people have children, to help with the farm and chores and to take care of the parents when they age. In some countries, more traditionally spelled out. In China, traditional for the eldest son and his wife to move into his parents' house and he (right) takes care of the parents until they die...then he is the ONLY sibling to inherit the parents' home and estate. You know who actually does all the work and catches all the grief from the old lady's sharp tongue. Anyway, this sort of makes sense at least. The eldest son's family gets help from grandma and grandpa early on with babysitting, then the grandparents are cared for and the son rewarded with the estate. Heard that if no sons, then the eldest daughter is expected to do this.
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Were we born to be servants to our parents in their aging??? Is that why they had us???
My brother tells me that people used to have children for an extra "farm hand". I would like to think those days are gone.
Is this what GOD meant when he said:"Go forth and multiply"? I'm not buying into this whole personal servant mess. That is the wrong reason to have children!!!!!!
We are ALL entitled to a life!
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Timmy (sorry all I remember is it begins with a T) a man may want to date you for that very reason, that you are NOT readily available. I find at this age, for me 54, I don't want to be bothered all the time, just when I want to be bothered.

For the person that asked the question if you should tell your mom, NO at your age you don't owe your mom any explanations.

Tonight I'm having a party (BAR B Q), this evening to be exact. I've said not one word to my mom or sister about the party. I know my mom would start asking a whole bunch of questions and tell me how I should entertain and decorate. I've decorated my way outside, and invited whom I wanted to invite. Don't want to hear about who will be eating up all the food and trying to take some home with them, and don't want to be asked if I can bring her a plate, yeah right in the middle of the party everything must stop and I must bring her a plate.

Not this time, this time it's all me. It's taken a long time to get to the place I'm at now, but although moms life is coming to an end, mine must go on.

So as I do all the last minute dudads, I'm listening to my music while finishing up my inside cooking while my friend does his thing on the grill.

Here's hoping all us caregivers have a wonderful 4th of July!
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I think it's ok to define boundaries. You're an adult and are probably doing much more than the average person would. Your love is 24hrs a day, but that doesn't mean you have to suffer for 24hrs a day.

Explain to them that you have to take care of yourself so you can take care of them. Finding happiness with friends and dating is how you can do that. If they don't understand that, they'll have to get over it. You are in complete control of this situation.
Good luck,
SlimJim
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I, Crowemagnum, am 53 and I approve this mesage!
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Enjoy life now none of us are promised a tomarrow.
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Moonbeam, we haven't heard back from you but I hope you've read all these helpful, encouraging comments. You have the green light to get dressed and ready for your date!
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Tell it, Crowe!
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moonbeam,

To put it about as bluntly as I care to right now, remind yourself that you are a 66 year old adult woman, and adult daughter of your mother, but not a 6 year old little girl or your mother's 6 year old daughter.

Your social life is none of her _ business. Sometimes young people just like some older people don't think anyone else should have a romantic life at all which is sick. Live a little! Swing from the chandeliears if you want to, but you don't need mommy's approval, permission, nor does she need to know about it. Make it so and go for it!
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