dsm Asked August 2010

My mother’s money will run out in 3-4 months and she is in a private pay assisted living facility. Should I move her to a new facility?

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My mothers money will be running out in about 3-4 months. She is in a private pay, assisted living facility. The nursing home side is not the best, but afraid moving her to a totally new facility would be too traumatic. She has dementia along with major paranoia. I am going to have to make a decision soon, as the other facility I had in mind is in a different county, and would have to file Medicaid papers there. How do I decide ?

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LynnPO Aug 2010
I don't know that I helped you much....Deciding on nursing home care is difficult. We chose one close to my brothers since they and wives can drop in every other day. Regular visits seem to ensure our Mom gets better care and it makes her happier which means the staff treat her better. We also looked at complaints to the state, dropped by the facility a couple of times and asked her doctor what he thought. He gave us 2 choices of the 6 in town. If we didn't select from one of those he told us to find her a new doctor! He felt that strongly about the quality of care and their ability to communicate with him regarding mom and other residents. We dropped by both facilities at different times just to walk around and get a feel for the place. The one we chose keeps severe dementia patients segregated, they permit us to stay for lunch or supper if we call ahead, they have a couple different patios where we can visit with mom and were good about working to find her a compatible roommate. Now - all that seems MORE helpful based on your scenario! All of this stuff - especially with Medicaide is so complicated! I'd strongly suggest that you consider ADDING her to Medicare part D even if she has a supplemental plan to cover medications. There's usually a co-pay and she'll need medicare part d WITH medicaid to cover those co-pays. Thank goodness your mom has YOU to deal with all of this!
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LynnPO Aug 2010
It sounds like the decision is made - if her current facility won't accept medicaide, you'll have to move her. If the current facility WILL accept medicaide, then leave her there. Trust me, you'll find problems at any assisted living or nursing home; you might be trading apples for oranges.

If you're considering paying for your mothers stay at her current facility - you MUST determine how long you can do it. DO NOT do it if your long term financial security will be ruined. You should not sacrifice your ability to pay your own way in old age to care for her now. That said, remember that you can claim her as a dependent on your income taxes if you pay for more than 50% of her annual expenses.
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