My mom is a worrier by trade, if it's not one thing it's another, never peace for more than a day. As my 87-year-old mom gets older, why is she so hard to deal with?
I see it as a blessing that my 96 yr old Dad who suffered a major Stroke over a yr ago is reunited with my 87 yr old mom who too has recently suffered a brain bleed and has her own health issues. They both live in a Skillied Nurshing Home.
However, as cute as it may look...Mom's fanaticisim is driving everyone bananas. She is a worrier by trade, if it's not one thing it's another, never peace for more than a day.
I am drained from trying to ease her burdens, she has none!! But now she accuses poor dad of having a girlfriend, he told me he can't sleep for her badgering him ( he can't speak very clearly but I understand him, she doesn't because she is has very low hearing) Dad told me he has always done or said whatever it took to make her happy even if it made him uncomfortable.
Well this treatment that she is used to is not being carried out by me and the NH. I must say, the NH goes a long way to try to make her happy but I don't think nobody is able to do what Dad did for 64 yrs. and I have said to Dad, you should have put your foot down a loooong time ago, now look.
No matter WHAT I, the NH staff does to accomodate Mom, last for long before she is 'itching about something else. Now she is hallucinating, claiming there is a little girl in the room, sometimes laying in Dad's bed. When the staff tries to re-assure her that no one is there, she gets angry with them.
She's a hypochondriate but don't tell her that! And she's constantly asking for medication, especially her anxiety med. then of course says mean things when the staff won't abide to her demanding ways.
I visist once during the week, and once on the weekend and even then she will call me the same day to 'itch about something or to say she was worried about "X".
I've helped myself alot by taking the phone out of her room! She was calling me like a telemarketing svc. The NH staff tries to surpress her from calling me on their phone but of course she gets angry with them.
No family is here to help me, and darnit I'm tired. Where is the life that I want to live? Why are my family members alowed to live carefree of my parents while I saunder along???? If I can't got 2 days w/o her tripping out how can I take a weeks vacation w/o having to sedate her???
She rants on to everyone that I am her P.O.A and I have alllllll of her paper work, YEAH!!!...You asked me and you gave it to me, I will be HAPPY to relinquish my P.O.A duties for my peace of mind and life restored!
Yesterday I told Mom again how I felt, this time no sugar or sugar substitute added. I said as much as I love you, you are driving me crazy, I need my life and you are sufficating me. She says she cares too much, I say stop it! I can't breathe, Dad can't breathe, stop or I will.
Yes, I know many will will say tisk, tisk, tisk on me. I say walk in my heels, sneakers, house shoes or just walk in my barefoot tracks then tell me how you feel.
I want to be free, I feel like I'm captured in my Mom's mental torture. I beleive in my higher power and I talk to him all the time, maybe he will read this plea for help, for Mom, Dad and Me and have mercy on us all.