How do you help your mom when your dad is verbally abusive, paranoid, and argumentative and won’t take his medicine or got to the doctor?

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Dad is 6 yrs. post stroke. He was fine for 3 months then spiraled into deep depression. We tried all kinds of pills, counseling, but nothing. Now he is at a new stage of combative meanness. He doesn't care a hoot about his hygiene, he believes my mom is trying to poison his food, he questions everything and believes nothing, We need him to get to dr's appts. but he refuses, he's hiding pills and saying he took them, he has been physical once w/ mom, otherwise he's just killing her w/ irrational, terrible words.

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Top Answer
Has he said or done anything that leads you to believe that he is a danger to himself and/or others? If so, dial 911 and have him involuntarily committed for a full psychological and physiological evaluation. This must be brought under control somehow for he is obviously not in control of himself. Do you or your mother have POA over your dad?
My mom has POA, I believe. He has grabbed my mom once in the past 2 weeks, not taking his pills is serious as the blood thinners are to prevent another stroke. I believe we will go the 911 route if we can not get him to go to the doctor this week. Thanks. It isn't going to be pretty.
Going the 911 route will not only help your father's health, but the hospital will make you and your mother a priority, also. This has to be a heartbreaking situation, but it sounds like it is imperative for you to act now and not wait for another episode. You will be in my prayers. Rebecca
I had another concern about your situation that I wanted to share. Even though your mother has POA, you might be considered responsible for making the decision to call 911. Being the children of parents who are ill puts us in a precarious position emotionally and legally. The information you shared about medication really concerns me. Sometimes anger is a sign of stroke issues. Take care and stay in touch.
Hey there. you have some good advice here and all I can add is that it sure sounds like dementia. Sometimes we are like the frog in the frying pan in that we don't realize the symptoms until something really insane happens.
I am not a doc but one thing I know for sure is that dementia presents itself in so many ways and we think that the person is being mean when they are really demented. Mad as a hatter. They end up dangerous to themselves and to everyone around them.
If he slips a wheel again, by all means call 911 and save everybody involved but know that this is probably some kind of dementia caused by stroke or ?
I used Namenda on my mom who was mean as a snake when I intervened to be her caregiver. That med worked so well and it got her to not be so mean and abusive.
Good luck and know that you have a lot of support here on this site. Vent and live. It really works.
I agree with Bobbie. It sounds like this is not your dad behaving badly, but some condition, proably dementia, controlling him. For his sake as well as for Mom's, getting him evaluated, even if his "condition" refuses to do that, is the loving thing to do. Please don't think "How can I call 911 on my dad?" Think about it as calling for help against this terrible condition that has Dad in its grip.

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