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I am sorry to hear about your mom relapsing into her old self-care behavior. Did she do well at the rehab center? If so, it's probably because they "insisted" she follow the rules and stood by to make sure that she was doing what she was supposed to do. R U or another family member with your mom during the day? If you are, then u may have to emulate the stricter environment your mom had at rehab. If she is alone during the day, maybe an instruction sheet for her follow would help remind her how she should structure her day, and would keep her on a similar schedule as she experienced at rehab. Best of luck.
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I am currently going through the same thing with Mom. I decided to look beyond the obvious and ask why she is not eating? If there is no medical reason-consider it attention getting behavior. My Mom decided she needed rehad to gain her strength back,yet now that she is home she is slowly showing the same habits again. Does she live alone? If so, she may be lonely and seeking attention. You must realize you can only do so much for her. She is an adult and she knows she needs to eat. Try talking with her Dr's. She may be depressed. I finally told Mom I thought she was depressed from previous medical issues and to my delight she admitted so. If you could really have a heart to heart with her and let her know you care but that she needs to be honest about her health. I was upset Mom had (I felt) wasted so much time of the health care providers only because she was too proud to admit she needed health/help in her head, not on how or what to eat. I know have a better understanding on how to respond and approach her behavior. She is responsible for herself;you can not force her to eat. Prayers to you-I know exactly what you are facing.-new41
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Does your mom have dementia/Alzheimers? If so, then consider this as part of the disease. Try and supplement her food intake with nutritional drinks like boost or ensure plus. Drinking is more easily accepted than food. Packed with calories. Get to the cause of her refusal or decline in eating, If she lives alone, this is the time for a caregiver to ensure meals are consumed, whether liquid or normal. Evaluate how she did at the rehab. It is a sense of control she may be exhibiting and there could be a manipulating component to her behavior. She may do better with someone other than family. Maybe she doesn't want to be alone if she lives alone. Maybe she has dementia and it is just part of the body's decline. If this does not apply, evaluate the dementia process. Also, consider this, if she refuses to eat or drink, or take medications in the future, what are you going to do.? I was faced with this decision, not knowing what my mother would want me to do. Please ask your mom if possible what she would want. I put a feeding tube in. Not happy with that decision. Her quality of life is not good, and I was really not prepared to let her go and not feed her. Please consider this issue ahead of time and be clear for the future what will you do.
-Good luck.
HW
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I understand your frustration. I am in a similar situation though it is my mother-in-law. After 12 yrs. of dealing with this, she has finally come to understand I wont put up with this. I know that sounds mean but I am not mean to her I just got my point across. Now if only her son and daughter would do the same it might take some pressure off of me lol Hang in there and just keep plugging away..Good luck and take some time for yourself and take a deep breath, it helps a little.
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Your best source of advice is your mother's health care professionals. Talk to them and perhaps other professionals as soon as possible. The web is not the place for reliable advice when it comes to something like this. Keep us updated.
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Thanks to all of you. My mother is now back at the rehab center after going by ambulance last night to the hospital. She fell and really banged herself up good. She did try to eat yesterday but by then she was so weak she could not walk.
I had talked to the professionals and they said we have to consider a move to a home that does more than where she is.
She has many friends and has been there 7 years. It will be very hard for her but we have no choice. Wow - it is tough.
Thanks again.
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I am sorry.I can't believe that your poor mom fell. I know how sad she must feel in addition to her injuries. I hope that she gets well very quickly and that you can find a place where she can be comfortable and happy. Best wishes to you and your mom.
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Bless your heart. I hope your Mom comes through this well. It is a huge dose of reality to witness or find your parent is such a state. My mom fell a year ago and bashed her face pretty bad-I was a bit traumatized but needed to focus on her. So many emotions can swarm you at one time and trying to sort it out can be tough. I am glad you joined this sight and I hope I am helping you as so many have written some very good,caring advice. I'll be praying for you and her today. -
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Many Thanks and Bless You.
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