My dad gets embarrassed when I give him a bath. We have tried various techniques, like using a washcloth or even keeping his underwear on but none have worked. What can I do to help bath him without him getting embarrassed?

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Thank you lcs
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May there be a loving person to look after you, ksue5036, when/if you need the same kind of care that you are now giving your mother. Wishing you the best.
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Thank you everyone. I am sure all your great thoughts and advice help Heatherj43 because it sure helps me.
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Growing up and living on a farm,I've always took care of the injured,weak and too old to get up and fend for their self amongst the herd,never thought my dad who was so powerful,would ever need the same care.Poop on a farm is just a daily accurance,but when its your parents,you know its the beginning of the end.Actually its a daily occurance in the city also,a goldfish needs cleaning up after.Its just the cycle of life,everyone needs help now and then,some folks are willing to help you and sadly some folks aren't.
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ksue , i didnt know that nancy passed on . my mom watched that show for many years . my sister watches it , i watch it once a great while .

i think what youre saying that its not a normal way to live like a grown up infant . i wouldnt want to live like that , but then again i wouldnt want to die at the early age . leaving my family behind .
it is a cycle way of life . infant to toddlers to a teenager into the adult then be come a granny poo then slowly going back into teenager oh lord what a rough time it is to be a teenager again then it slowly creeps back into the infant stage . wipe my butt plz , feed me plz . waa waaa waaaaa then u sleep and sleep and off to a better place . then the next caregiver s turn to follow that path way of cycle....
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Dear ksue5036, changing your mom's diaper, washing her bottom and feeding her IS normal in our culture if you are her caregiver. When I was a young girl, my mother was doing this for my granny. In a different culture, if your mom was unable to look after herself, she might just be led out into a wilderness and left to die or she might just be allowed to starve to death etc. Our culture chooses not to do this type of thing and instead we either become caregivers ourselves or pay people/institutions to provide care. If a person lives long enough, it usually is normal to require someone to change one's diaper, to do the spoon feeding, to wash one's body (including the "private parts") etc. This is what most of us will need before the end IF we live long enough. This is what is normal in our culture at the present time. As there become more and more elderly for society to care for in the years to come, this may not be the case. Who knows what will be normal then.
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All my life my mom has watched As The World Turns. Well one of the actors died in real life on there. She was very old and been on there all these years. I told my mom that Nancy from As
The World Turned died today. And she did not say a word. I cried and cried. Because on a normal day in what used to be or normal life this would be a big deal to her. Now I don't know what is normal. Changing my moms diaper , washing her bottom and feeding her is not normal.
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Sylvester18 said the truth when writing "this life is just not fair". I think if/when we accept that fact, it is a wee bit easier to roll with the punches. And a philosophical question we also could ask ourselves is "if life WAS fair, would I be better or worse off? Do I deserve better? Do I deserve worse?" Who knows? Who is to judge? Life is what it is and it seems to me that if we help each other get through it, we will all experience more joy. And with that being said, I have to leave to help my husband with something. May we all get through the day appreciating any blessings that come our way. Love to all.
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I am just sitting here wondering when all of US who are now talking about our parents are going to be actually living this ourselves. It is really an adventure I am not looking forward to, and if I can avoid it, that is another question...I am wanting a fast, instant death, while I still have what marbles society says are normal and in tact...This site is a God send. I have heard you guys talk about things that I go through constantly and lcs really hit the nail where it counts, we try every way we can think of to make Mom and or Dad happy, comfortable, we even try to think up ways to enter the world that has become theirs, so as not to offend, upset, or diminish what reality they have come to hang on to. This life is just not fair.
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I just spoke to my sister about this once again. She agrees that we will get a hand held shower head. We already have the bath bench.
I think he can do some of his own bathing and just needs to be told to. Like, "now wash yout face, now your arm, etc.". I am going to try that. I really think the hand held shower thing along with a seat will give him the confidence and feeling of safety that he may wash himself. Geez, I hope so. I don't mind being in the room, but I still just cannot bring myself to washing his privates, especially if he acts embarassed, as my sister says he does.
One good thing is that he forgets it all within 5 minutes, however he does know what is going on for those 5 minutes and its just as embarrassing as if he didn't have short term memory loss.
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