How do I know if my mother-in-law is faking the things she does?

One of the saddest aspects of some dementia cases is the failure of the family/caregiver to recognize that this is a disease outside of the victim's control. Celebrate and embrace the good moments and days. Do your best through the not-so-good or downright-horrid days. The "faking" that can occur in dementia is a behavior called "showtiming." Until the dementia is advanced, the patient can often with great effort put on a show to appear normal. They can do this in a doctor's office, or for company, for example. Often the effort wears them out; there is a limit to how long they can keep it up; and eventually they can't do it at all. But a caregiver may say, "Huh. If they can be that reasonable in front of Lucy, they can darn well get their act together for me." Sorry. Showtiming is a limited-time behavior, usually reserved for outsiders.

I think that all dementias have some degree of ups and downs. But as others have said, it is a core characteristic of Lewy Body Dementia. My husband can be quite coherent and carry on an intelligent conversation in the morning, and be quite confused in the afternoon. Some days I'll drive and he can navigate a complex route from memory. Other days he can't find the bathroom in our home.

Zoey, unless you have some specific reason to think that your mil is faking her dementia and there is something she gets out of it, I would seriously doubt that she is able to control when the dementia takes over.

What does her doctor say?

From what I've read and experienced with my own mother, there's fluctuations in cognitive functioning with a diagnosis of dementia and of course things like a bladder infection could affect thought process.

Zoey - I don't know if you CAN know what is faked and what is true dementia. Daughters, husband and I still believe Mom 'faked' a good deal of her Alzheimer's dementia - she died last month at 89. But still the questions lingers . . .a person with end stage Alzheimer's who can occassionally articulate complex thoughts and complete sentences ("Supper's all right, I guess" or "Those are pretty socks") as she did from time to time and even just a few weeks before her death. I don't know. With my mom it will always be a mystery.

Fluctuating cognition is a hallmark of Lewy body dementia. She may have this; it's the second most common form of dementia after Alzheimer's. Early on, the normal periods can last for weeks. In time, the periods will be reduced and can be in the 'few minutes' range. Suggest you go to the Lewy Body Dementia Assn. website, lbda.org, to learn of the other symptoms as well. Copy some of the information to take to her doctor.

I whole heartedly agree with LewySavy. Lewy body dementia does have these symptoms. Follow advice and to to lbda.org.
It seems many are diagnosed with Alzheimers, when it is really Lewy Body...although the end stage is pretty much the same. I do a lot of research....have too much time on my hands.

Zoey, My MIL can be totally in touch one minute and out of it the next. Only a complete neuro-psych exam can really get to the bottom of it and you can ask the MD to order one. Bear in mind that if she was a manipulative person before dementia, she will become MORE manipulative as the dementia progresses. If she habitually was trying to make other people look bad, she will continue to do so, but in dementia she create bizarre and unbelievable scenarios.

Zoey, I think the true test will be time. Most things come to light eventually given enough time. The old saying 'time will tell' is true.

FAKING OR NOT

Could you provide some examples? Does she live with you? (That is, how often do you see her?)

I absolutely agree with Zoey. I have been experiencing some issues with my husband. First of all, he hasn't even been diagnosed however I took action surfing the web and truly think he has dementia. He has not been his usual self for about 6 months now, however for about the last 2 days he is acting himself like he used to. I myself sometimes think that he may be faking also as mean as it seems yet I will see what happens next...by the way he is 61yrs.old...anyone else experienced this problem?