My mother won't get out of bed, except to go to the bathroom. I know she is capable, but she has convinced herself that she can't. What can I do about this?

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Pj, I'm thinking that unless your mom has a mental problem (depression) then she needs an attitude adjustment. Enough already of the queen like attitude, with you as her servant. I agree, putting her somewhere while you're away for awhile is a good thing. Let her have a taste of how good she has it at home. We all tend to take things for granted when they're handed to us and we never go without. Time for a reality check.
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Hi there,
Perhaps you have to speak to her as you would to a child and perhaps you might just get a response that you can respond to.
God bless
Annie
Singapore
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All the above are great but she may just be looking for more attention my husband stoped doing things for himself unlee he was angry with me and then he could do most everything and in the nursing they let him get away with it and at home he wanted my attention all the time so he slowly gave up doing things-he knew what he was doing and the time came where I had to decide if I wanted to spend all the time being his servant-I had a host of medicial problems myself-and I decided I would not last long under those conditions so placement was planned and since you have looked into things I would ask her if she wants to go to live in a nursing home so all her needs will be met-you can wait to see how she is after your trip if you are able to wait on her until them-it may be she likes the attention and I agree with the person who said to tell her when meals are being served and let herself get there once they give up activities they become so weak they really are not able to do things for themselves/
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She is very young. She may be plain and simply DEPRESSED. There are wonderful new medications that help with depression. I wouldn't see a Dr. for that. Best to go to a psychiatrist that specializes in older people, Alz, etc.
Someone who foregoes the therapy and tests for the deficiencies. They are out there. Perhaps there is a Psychiatrist referral on line? I understand depression very well.....irritability and 'not wanting to get out of bed' are key signs. Please consider this option for your mother. Good luck.
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I have to go to Colorado at the end of the month so maybe I can let her Dr "request" that she get rehab therapy while I am gone. Thanks to everyone for your support and concern. It is great to have people who make me look past guilt long enough to do something that helps her.
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Well, sometimes a short term stay can make a world of difference. I deal with certain issues with my mother and when I had to go away for a couple weeks I had to put her in a nursing home for respite. I think I was gone 12 days and when I got back and picked her up, I was golden in her eyes. It did not last but every now and then I will have to remind her that if she does not want to allow me to take care of her in the way she needs and/or rearrange the house the way I need to in order to keep her safe then I will have have no choice but to put her in a nursing home for her safety. She will generally change her tune then and she will be okay for a while until the next time.
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Rehab sounds like a good idea. It also sounds like it is time to set up boundaries in your own home. She is too young to be acting like this! "Mom, we will not be answering when you yell. Please walk down the hall and talk to us. Do not call."

"Mom, dinner is at 6:00 p.m. in the dining room. No meals in the bedrooms or anywhere else."

Good luck.
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She isn't so much verbally abuse as she is just very demanding of me and yells when she wants something. She will even call the house phone from her cell phone to keep from getting up. I have thought about having her placed short term to get rt/ot to maybe mobilize her again? I plan to meet with her Drs and see what they feel will benefit her best. I don't think it is placement, maybe just rehab.
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Well, as much as you may hate the thought of this it may be that the best thing for her is a nursing home. It is very, very difficult to care for a parent who is verbally abusive to you. I know this because I go through it often enough, but my mother still gets up everyday and does most things for herself as far as her personal care is concerned. In a nursing home, she will not be allowed to just stay in the bed. They (staff) will go in, get her up, get her dressed and bring her out to the dining room for meals. The often will allow residents to have breakfast in their rooms, but lunch and dinner have to be in the dining room. If you want her to be in the dining room for breakfast as well they can make this happen. Nursing home staff has to do what the resident's responsible party desires and whatever the doctor orders. Doctors in these situations generally will do what ever the family wants. Perhaps even a short stay in a nursing home will cause her to have an attitude adjustment. You can put her in one for a short respite stay for anywhere from a weekend to two to three weeks.
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sounds like she has giving up . shes awful young too . my dad sleeps alot . he loves to go bye bye and never turn it down but here lately he says no he dont want to g o anywhere .
i think tmr im going to drag him out . bribe him about wendys !
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