jennyp Asked June 2010

My mother passed away 2 months ago and ever since my father has been angry with almost everything, including me. Why is this?

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My father had a mild stroke 3 years ago. He has always been somewhat of a grumpy person, and we have never been especially close. Since the passing of my mother, my father and I have spoken more, at least once a week. I live an hour away from him and am going to school. The behavior that emerges from the stroke is very hard and I don't know what to do. My father lose's his temper with anything and when I get upset as a result ( I usually cry) he tells me not to cry or says sorry. I think he starts to realize he is being a little harsh, but he continues to say harsh words to me. He does not have any other friends or family, I am IT. I want to find something for him to be interested in and to have fun, but I have no idea where to look. He lives in a smaller city and has lived there his whole life.
Any insight would be helpful. Thank you!

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EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack Jun 2010
It's quite possible that the stroke damage also includes vascular dementia. Also, people can have more than one kind of dementia.

That said, depression may be at the root of his issues. He needs a thorough checkup with all of this in mind.

I'm so sorry you have no one to help you through this. You can get some tips from the Alzheimer's Association (in your phone book), even though he may not have that type of dementia. Your state Web site will have a section titled "aging services" or something similar. Under that heading, they will have their version of the Family Caregiver Support Program. Here you should find some local support.

Please keep coming back to the site for moral support.
Carol
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