If I discuss my mom with her doctor, is this conversation confidential or will he tell her?

I have found openly discussing my mom's condition front of the doctor and then later amongst ourselves always proves beneficial. A counsuling is a great way as well.

Write him a letter with your concerns.Make it clear and concise.
It will help him in treating your mother.

I am interested in this too - I often go with my mom to see her doctor and am in the room except for the actual physical exam, but I would sure like to visit with him alone sometimes. I do not know if this is presumptuous or not - medical ethics being what they are. Her primary care doctor and I get along well, he enjoys my input and comments, but if I sit in when she goes to her specialist, he looks a me as if I just crawled out from under a rug if I make a comment.

First, ASK that very question of the doctor him/herself.
Second, s/he doesn't have to tell her, but if s/he wants to remember it -- and in order to remember it -- writes it down or takes notes, those notes become part of the patient's record, and IF SHE ASKS for the record the doctor has to give it to her.

A good doctor will want the information you have to offer. Work out how to do with him/her.

P.S. If you write a letter, that becomes part of your mom's file too and thus accessible to her, if she asks for her record.

Also, be clear about the two halves of the communication, which are treated differently, and use this fact when you strategize: namely, you can tell the doctor anything you want, and then you guys figure out what to do with that information (write it down or not); but the doctor can't tell you anything without the patient's permission. So, if you want, you can ask the doctor for an appointment (yes it's professional time and you should pay for it) in which -- you state this upfront -- all the information is going to go only one way, namely from you to him/her. If you make it clear that you understand this, it will help him/her agree to this.

If you do not have POA for your mother, you will probably be whistling in the wind when it comes to talking with the doctor. There is a little thing that has been in place now for several years and it is called HIPPA. It protects a person's right to privacy. If a medical professional violates HIPPA, the initial fine is $25,000....so you can see why he/she would be hesitant to discuss anything with you. Now if your mother tells the doctor that it's alright to give you information, that is a different story.

Your mother can sign a form giving permission to the doctor to talk to you about her. If your mother doesn't/hasn't agreed to this, it may be difficult for you. If she does, you should be able to let him/her know your concerns. Does your mother ever ask to see her records? It doesn't seem too likely she would want to read everything in the charts. I have found that there is a generational difference,where she might trust whatever the doctor says more than you might. We have been able to use that as an advantage, i.e. ask the doctor to tell her how important it is to take medications regularly,etc.

Ojala,
You must have a Hippa agreement or he/she cannot legally talk with you about your parent's condition. Yes they will talk with the parent but not necessarily. It depends whether they are a co-conspiritor or not. You still have to talk with them as they can advise you. Deal with the fall out, if there is any.
Best.

I know the Dr by law cannot speak to anyone without consent of a patient, there needs to be a HIPPA form or POA or GUARDIANSHIP. It is a good thing to be involved and yes I think a good Dr should be glad to have as much input and if you are aiding in care it is nessary for you to know about her health issues.

Why would someone not want the patient know of helpful input to their doctor?