My mom has severe dementia but lately seems to be deteriorating very quickly. Her behavior is changing, doesn't want to eat, got up at 3am the other day got dressed and was headed out when the caregiver heard her. Nothing she says makes sense anymore, seems she is living in the past. I think it might be time to find a facility that can help her but I don't want to separate my parents yet. She requires more help than ever, toileting, bathing etc,. I have been giving her a shower because the full time caregiver is a man but when the relief comes in ( a women ) she takes care of showering both my parents. I have to make changes and am going to have a woman come in full time. I feel really bad because the male caregiver has been good but I can not go on like this, it isn't fair to my parents or to me. I am finding it harder to keep up with all of the responsibility, am overwhelmed and suffer from chronic pain. I can tell depression is setting in and feel like I am on a downward spiral. I have to do something before this gets out of control. I wish my 2 sisters would help but they won't, they use the excuse that they live out of state and this is all of my responsibility because I live here. I have a lot of resentment and anger that I am trying to work through but I am not getting very far. This has taken a toll on my marriage also. I am not emotionally available and I hate that. I feel so needy and dependent on my husband and I feel so guilty about that also. Please, any suggestions? I don't want to put my parents in a home but I don't want to lose my marriage or myself for that matter. I want to do the right thing for everyone and feel selfish for thinking about my own needs. I put off things I need to do for my own health to take care of my parents and am afraid that one day soon I will be the one needing help. So please, how do you really know when it is time to take your parents from their home of over 20 years and place them somewhere because of their needs and because it has become too much for me to handle anymore?