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She is 78-years-old. I have found I cannot handle it any longer but I know she does not have the money to go to a facility. Also she will not go on her own. ???

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I just answered your other post about your situation. Dealing with dementia is a very tricky and challenging situation.

Learn as much as you can about how to communicate with someone with dementia. Her accusations about your husband is (normal) to be expected. After all... who wants to admit that THEY are the ones to blame for their losing things?

Be as NONconfrontational as you can with your mother, but know that the situation is only going to get worse, if you are unable to 'let it roll off your back (or your husbands) back.

It isn't easy, and I encourage you to read as much as you can on this website, and on the ALZ.org website and also to get some good books on dealing with dementia.

"Learning to Speak Alzheimer's" was an excellent book, and the "The 36-hour day" was another excellent book that helped me learn QUICKLY what to do, and how to respond to Mom's actions.

Also speak to her doctor about ANY medications she is on, and have her checked for a UTI (urinary track infection). SO many times, there is an underlying medical condition that is making matters worse!

Post more information about your concerns, and I am sure that others will offer their sage advise. I cared for my mother for five years (she had Alzheimer's) and I know I was not aware of how to
deal with her for the first year, but I learned quickly.

I am STILL here to help others shorten their learning curve. There is much to learn, and knowing how to respond is key.
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