Father has dementia he thinks I am his wife and should be intimate with him.


I try to tell him I am his daughter not his wife but he doesn't understand
the difference between the two he talks about wanting to have sex with me and he should be able to do anything he wants. He was very religious to extreme before this so this is really creepy for me and it's embarrassing to talk about to anyone. He gets irate if I try to reason with him. Should I just ignore him and walk out .I want to care for him as long as I can but need to know what to do. He is in a wheelchair but is up everyday and has no real physical problems except for bad knees and the Alzheimer. He is also almost totally deaf and wears hearing aids My parents were inseparable .until my mother died of Alzheimer's last year .Now he never mentions her at all like she never existed.

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I'm so sorry. If it's any comfort, this is very common. As you say, he can't tell the difference between you and his late wife. In his mind he is likely quite young, and you may look somewhat like your mother at a younger age, so it's even more confusing for him than for some men.
Many men with AD get sexually aggressive with female caregivers. But, as you say, it's feels even creepier when it's your dad.
Please try to understand that he can't help it. You may want to talk to his doctor. Occasionally, they give medication to handle this, but there are side effects. At least check, though. There may be something the doctor can do to make your life a bit easier. Good luck,
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My husband with dementia did the same thing to our daughter. She was so creeped out that she left. She is just 23. It happened while I was at work. He does know the difference when our daughter and I are together. Our son lives with us to help me care for him when I am gone. My husband (his dad) accuses us of having a inappropriate sexual affair. This is so creepy beyond belief. Its so sad too. My husband will and has told this to his family members and hospital staff. He is focused on his sexual desires and will not let me sleep. Its all he talks about all day to anyone. He is just that sick. I am trying to keep him home but its getting harder. I would not feel safe living alone with him and am so glad my son is here to witness all of his behaviors.
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