I had a very serious illness that requires frequent monitoring. How do others find the energy to deal with their own health?

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In 2008 I almost died from a very serious medical condition that now needs to be monitored regularly. I have found that I have put my own health care on the back burner, because after taking both my parents for all their medical appointments I really don't feel like worrying about mine.l

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This is very common for caregivers. Please remember that if you aren't healthy, you can't care for others. Try to find help for them while you concentrate on your own health. This is a huge dilemma for caregivers. Many of us develop auto-immune disorders and other health issues. I can't fix it for you, but please know you aren't alone, and come back for emotional support.
Carol
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A great many don't. They wear themselves to a frazzle sicken themselves to the point where not only can they not care for the person who depends upon them they do real long term damage to the quality of their own lives. This must be avoided. If you can't take care for yourself...you say you wonder where others who are ill get the energy to take care for themselves, remind yourself the intention to care for a loved one while good and loving are dangerous for you bot6h, even if they don't result in long term damage or harm to you or the one you are caring for. You do the both of you a real disservice by trying to manage both your own very real needs for rest and care yourself as well as the one needing the cares possibly safety. You mus acknowledge you are not a person possessed of super human strength and only when you are well and strong can you give the very best of yourself to another. I know the temptation is to do and do and do no matter what, but we do not have unlimited stores of time energy and patience and you must take good care of yourself first or you will not have anything to give to the other who needs you, no matter how much you would like to.
Please find a way to get some respite and assistance for your situation, it is out there, and no one will feel you are not doing your best because you choose not to make yourself ill in looking after a loved one.
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You found the energy to take care of your parents so you can find the energy to take care of yourself. I took care of my dad for so long and now he is residing in a nursing home. I didn't know how to take care of me because my whole life was centered around him. Please do not do this to yourself. I have felt lost and lost my identity because I didn't even think of me. I am just starting to care about myself and realize that I have medical conditions that if they were taken care of long ago, I probably would not have them now. YOU COUNT. Do you think your parents would not want you to take care of yourself? Do something for you every day and you will start seeing that your life matters too. Good luck and God Bless. Prayer has helped me tremendously.
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Try to make time for friends in your life they will remind you to take care of yourself-I use to play a game with myself while be a caregiver-what would I say to a friend in my situation and then act on her-your advice. My lawyer got my attention when he told my son 60% of caregivers die before the ones they are caring for and a wise counsulor told me I was waiting for someone to rescue me and that was not going to happen-I had to rescue myself which I did telling the people at our family meeting when my husband was in rehab for about the 16th time after hospital stays I could no longer care for him at home that it was too much for me and was very surprised everyone except the husband agreed with me-he had been disabled for 16 years at this point-what a relief it was for me to finally say it out loud.
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Hi Bonnie_Like many of us who are or have been caregivers---we tend to put our own health issues on the back burner...I for one did this very thing. I have learned over time--to become effective in caregiving we have to take care of ourself ist and foremost. We all need ME-TIME.
Best,
Hap
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Tweet is right. Give yourself the loving care and concern you showed for your loved pones when they needed it, you need it now. Be sure to ask for help where ever you can when you need help. Best Wishes..
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My husband is about to be released from Skilled Nursing. He is 76 and is unable to walk without assistance. He has had a stroke, chronic low back pain, bipolar disorder II, and there has been talk of dementia and/or Parkinson's. These last two have not been definitely diagnosed. What type of Senior Living would be best for him? I am 83 years of age and have been advised and told that I am no longer able to take care of my husband at home, due to my health. I have been diagnosed with nodules on my thyroid, atrial fibulation, arithitis in my hands, knees spinal column, etc, and high blood pressure which is controlled with medication. My husband has not accepted that he may not be able to come back home and be taken care of by me. He has accepted that he needs more physical therapy and speech and swallowing therapy in some kind of assisted living home, but he is uinder the impression that he will still be coming home after that. This is questionable and remains to be seen. He should be discharged in the next two weeks so I have to move fast. Thank you in advance, for any help, suggestions and advice. Rita M
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yes it is very hard taking care of a person on your own, I was young when I was taken care of my mom, I had to make choose to try the lond distance way since she was in New York or to get her to Florida with me. Well since I was the power of attorney/legal rep/caregiver/health epoxy. Not knowing how sick she was. I left my job and went to New York it took years to get things in order, the docotors would not listen. But I knew something was wrong. I did get my mom to Florida however even though we had things set up I could not do it myself. I had to place her in an assisting living, ( which was a beautiful/clean/ large private house. They took good care of her.I was there all the time for two years. Since I was there I know about all the things that your hubby has, and the dementia and parkinson is the worse to watch. Look around try to get some family members to check things out with you. You can call elder care, and if was in the military you can get help also. Rita sometimes when you think by having some one you love placed in a special place hurts. It may be the best thing you may have to do. But do not listen to people check places out for yourself. What may look beautiful on the outside is differrent when you are not there. I even did many sleep overs, and wass always sleeping in the hospitalif my mom had an emergency. A person who has alztiemers/dementia like my mom wuld always say she was not in pain. The emergency room doctors or nurses would tell me she is in no pain! But I told them looked into her eyes see is crying. Take care of her. May this help you a little and god watch over you in this time. Yes you will help. Don't do what I did I forgot about my own health. Call and speak to the docotor or social worker even at the hospital see if they can work with you, they maybe able to find several places and set up an appointment with elder care in your state. God bless you.
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I have been treated for breast cancer while taking care of my 91 yr old mom and my 30 yr old autistic son. After having a double mastectomy I came down with a virus. After not having solid food for a week I asked my son to make me a scrambled egg, I was just too sick to do it. He made me more soup. I went to my room, started crying and called my daughter. She travelled 60 miles that night to make me some eggs and took me to my post op chk up the next day. The surgeon was ready to hospitalize me the moment she saw me. I had pneumonia. I said I can't go into the hospital who will take care of my mom and son? My daughter answered who will take care of them if you're dead. That put things into perspective. I think we all struggle with this. I think we're all one big group of fixers and we will do it till we fix ourselves to death unless somebody reminds us we need to take care of ourselves first.
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Remember what they say on airplanes: Put your own oxygen mask on first, before helping others.

Put a sign on your mirror: Remember the big picture! The whole house of cards comes down with you.
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