How do I deal with siblings not providing support?

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I have been a caregiver for my mother for the past 10 years. This has been a challenge since I am a widow and living on a single income. I have 2 other siblings and a few years ago sat them down and told them it was no longer just my responsibility and asked for their help. Neither wanted her to live with them so she is living with me but both agreed to provide $100/mo towards expenses. This in no way pays for her expenses but it was something. Now one sibling has just quit paying and says it isn't her responsibility. Can anyone suggest how I can get her to continue her part, are there any legal avenues, etc. I am at my wits end over this and of course it is disrupting the family as we are now divided over this. Help

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You have a lot of company. You can try to divide up the care, letting everyone know their part. But if they don't come through, there isn't a lot you can do. One thing I've seen repeatedly, is that the adult children who don't help out have more "grief," when the elders die. I believe it's then that they wish they'd been around. The one doing the hands-on caregiving knows that they did what they could. So there is peace.
Carol
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do good deeds for that God sees the deeds and so his prophet and the faithful believers. Be a role model for those selfish, so the may regain insight,or do not forget that God delay those selfish but never neglects them.





Emman
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OH My God I will never complain again. My prayers are with you all
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HocusPocus I feel for you. Your sister used that as a pawn to get out of helping with expenses for your mom. My mom and sister had the kind of relationship that whatever my mom bought for my mom, mom would pay her back. Therefore when my sister makes purchases for my mom, I have to pay her back with my moms money.

I was never a great financier, for lack of other words, but since my mom got sick and I became POA of her finances I have shocked myself. I've told my mom several times that I don't know how she did it all these years and was able to save so much money but I've learned in these last 3 months that I too can do, and I've even learned how to save a little bit a month myself. There are so many resources out there for help and I've talked with so many county, state, and government agencies.

I too have had words with my brother-in-law and I won't even go into what we've argued about. He's one who likes to keep up a mess. I just call him "OLD GRANDFATHER CLOCK" cause he looks so old and I keep on going. hahahaha
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my brother is 19 and has no motivation to work, go to school, or even wake up in the mornings. Me and my husband has talked our heads off about this to him and I even made him go get some kind of assistance for foos, but he thinks that is enough. He has a bad attitude and doesnt respect anything I say or asked him to do. I am at my witz end what do I do?
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i have quit my job and donald (boyfriend) i moved to a different city moved in with my dad so that i can take of him, therefore i can't work.Because he demands all of my time.I agreed to take care of him because he's only 52 years old and i don't agree with putting him in a home. anyways i have 2 siblings who wont help my sister agreed to take my dad to all of his appointments and his finical stuff but yet when i phone her to ask if she will pitch in and help so i can work 1-2 times a week she flipped out and said that she will not help out she did not sign up for this and if i cant handle it than put dad in a home and while she gets mad when i phone her for anything .i'am 23 years old i to think i deserve a break but yet when i ask for one .... i'am the selfless one ... i don't understand donald does way more for my dad than my 2 siblings combined... all i get is 300 dollers a month from my sister i can't afford to do this i don't know what to do because i will not put my dad in a home .... does anyone have some answers
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Wow, that's really awful. I take care of my mom, and my oldest brother does try and come and see her and take her to dinner or an appt. but my other brother has not been well but he just doesn't get the whole "care" thing, and my sister is in California, but 90% falls on me. So, after reading your situation, I feel a lot luckier. I'm sorry that you had to go through that but feel good that you did the right thing and your best.
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thank you i guess i shouldn't whine about the whole thing but it is just so hard sometimes very stressful you know. well iam sure allof you know..... thanks
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DEONNA:

Make a list of ALL the expenses, down to every penny and roll of toilet paper, sit down with both of them again and go over it. The goal is to persuade, not lay a guilt trip on them. (Actually, you'd be doing both at the same time.) To really drive it home, try reenacting one of those Feed the Children commercials "for the cost of one cup of coffee a day you can provide for ..." If that doesn't work, take a copy of the list (preferably typewritten) to social services (public assistance) to see if you get an allowance large enough to cover most of the expenses. If there are churches nearby, hit all of them too. You'd be amazed to see how altruistic people can be, especially if their actions pave the way to Heaven and eternal life.

Good luck my friend, and keep us posted.

-- ED
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thank you so much all of you for the advice i will try them all and see if it works
:)
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