How do I deal with a difficult senior who is dying?
My father-in-law is in the final stages of copd/emphysema. Currently, he is in the hospital to build up his strength and to fight off a severe lung infection. For the first time in two years, I have had some time to myself, and have been able to clean some areas he would not allow me to before.
I was horrified what I found; mice droppings in his drawers, as well as dead insects and feces in his closet. I found piles of dirty clothes as well as filthy blankets on his bed. He now sleeps in the living room and only uses the bathroom in the master bedroom.
My husband also told me, when his father was admitted, that his feet were so filty and neglected, that skin just fell off when the nurse took his socks off.
He is not doing good and the doctor said he has only months left. I know that it is difficult to pin point a time with copd/emphysema, but it is pretty clear to me that he does not have much time left.
My fil absolutely refuses to talk about his dying, although the doctor has been very kind. We are all just trying to get him prepared. He is in real denial. I do not think hospice is an option, as he believes " they kill people". He also keeps going on about a "death Shot". He is terrified and will not even discuss a DNR.
So, I have accepted the fact that my husband and I can only help manage his symptoms at this point. I do not think he understands that hospice can help while at home.
Is Rehab a possibilty at this point ( to rebuild his strenghth)? How do I have an honest discussion with him?