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How do I deal with my husband's anger toward my family after my father's stroke? He resents their lack of help and I bear the brunt of his extreme anger . He makes very negative statements each day. If I am very tired or sad about my father's condition, I am sometimes reduced to tears. I have a large family, but I am the only person who is near enough to help on a daily basis. My father's strokes occurred on Christmas Day and he has been in hospitals and acute care units that may require up to a 1 hour drive.I do not think my family helps enough but my mother is 82 with a TBI from 3 years ago. My father is 84. My older sister is over 60 and lives 8 hours away. One brother travels and the other, a doctor, lives two hours away but tries to help constantly. I love my father very much and do not mind juggling my husband and son, my father, and my teaching job. I know vacation is in 18 days and I can make it. My husband makes comments about never wanting to see or interact with my family although he has been kind to my father. He badgers me with critical comments about my family . What should I do? I can't make them help.

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Wow....he needs to fricken back way off. You needs support at this time and not his self indulgence. Geez doesn't he see there is a need and you are filling it. I would tell him, that you need support and daddy was around way before he was wasn't he? If your other family cannot help, and you feel you can do it as long as you can, but when you can't do it anymore you will need them to step in with time or money. If they cannot come then they can send money for some caregiver relief time, because you are going to get to the point of burnout and you will need it. At the same time dear sweet hubby needs to be JUST THAT...dear sweet hubby. Try one more time to make him understand that this is your family as well and he needs to support you.

Let us know what happens after you talk to dear sweet hubby.
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PirateGal is right. Time for a straight forward talk with your siblings. "If you cannot help (like giving up their vacation time and coming to take over to give you a break) then I need money to get someone in her a couple of days a week to do this job." Also, a talk is in order with your husband. "Honey I agree with you that they are not stepping up, but your anger is not helping. I am going to have a talk with them, so please let's just get through this."
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id tell him to hitthe road jack and dont come back no more no more !
what makes him think ure on cloud nine when ure struggling to take care of elders and feeling down in the dumps and ur husband just makes it worst . i will not tollerate it .
there has been time when my husband makes commets s**t we cant go anywhere ! i just tell him i know honey but one day we will . then he agrees . he s givin me so much moral support and bites his tongue and deals with it . cuz he knows i tell him to hit the road jack !!
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...shouldn't this be an indication to your husband that you are a kind and caring person, for example, if he should ever need this type of care? If he were in your father's shoes, wouldn't he expect you to care for him and not abandon him when he needs you most? R-e-s-p-e-c-t
I'm just sayin'......
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tell /beg/ ask your husband to stop making hurtful comments that nothing fix in your situation. he has to understand/ has a third person telling him that a minister/your church pastor/ father. etc. a social worker.
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