How do I deal with my mother’s memory lapses and her feelings of persecution and neglect while doing what I need to take care of me?
My mother is 91 and has turned into her mother. We come from a Welsh backround where the oldest women is the matriarch of the family. She expects everything to be done her way and in her time. Meanwhile I have been being treated for breast cancer and have had many complications. I thought she would understand because she had breast cancer. She still expects me to do everything I did before. My poor autistic son, God bless him, has tried to step up, but has reached the end of his rope. I've tried talking to her, but in the end she doesn't remember the conversation. I don't know what to do. I have little support from my sister and no support from my brother. They were her favorites. I was Dad's. I always thought if something happened to my mom first I would talk care of Dad, but if anything happened to my dad, which it did, one of them would take care of Mom. Well, I the fixer in the family and I promised my dad I would take care of her, now I feel trapped. It's been 28 years and this last year is going to drive me to drink. How do I deal with her memory lapses and her feelings of persecution and neglect when I do what I need to take care of me?