How do I deal with my elderly mother who doesn't accept the reality of situation?

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Is it the senior, or is it another family member who is unaccepting of the reality?
It is the senior, my mother.
I wish I could answer that question however, I would be asking the same quesion..My Mom has had a stroke not a major one but the Dr tells her she needs 24/7 supervision. Her balance is off and she could fall again. She keeps saying, I wish I could get these legs working so I can drive my car...Mom hasn't driven in over a year and is 85 years old. She makes me crazy!!
Hope someone has the answer for us???
Your situations are tough. None of us want to accept the fact we cannot do what we did when our bodies were able. I work with ederly people and their families daily. It seems like its tougher on the families.

Have either of you checked into a Home Health agency that can visit with mom or dad? These companies sometimes can take mom and dad to senior centers for activities. Even some ot the Senior centers have transpo. This way they can be around people their own age and see how they deal with issues related to aging.

Sincerely - DeAnna
Top Answer
My mother would say things like that all the time. Who wouldn't want to be able to 'do' things they were able to do before? Why not be positive and try to reassure them that if they "eat well and take care of themselves" that perhaps they might be able to? HOPE springs eternal.

My mother had Alzheimer's, hadn' t driven in almost a decade, but would always say how we were going to go on a road trip "soon" . We would sit and plan where we would go, and how long we would be on the 'road'.

I sure hope someone else helps me 'pretend' to be able to do things I used to do when I get older.
In regards to being positive..I am! I tell her all the time that she is doing better each day. I have to have a belt around her when walking with her and she is in a hospital bed. When she gets up out of bed she sometimes falls back because of her balance situation. I tell her Mom, you did great! This time you held your legs together and pushed off the mattress like the therapist tells you. You are getting to a point that you are just doing it without thinking and that is great! However, I am doing this alone and I am with her 24/7 and it is hard not to feel overwhelmed!!!!!
I completely understand overwhelmed. You need help, you deserve some help! If you don't have any family to help, find some friends to help, or a church group or a respite group. There is help out there, please make sure you find someone to help.

I made the mistake once of trying to explain to my mother what was going on with her Alzheimer's since she asked me point blank: "What is wrong with me!!" Try as I might to explain simply what was happening, all that happened was she got VERY angry with me, and it took quiet a while for her to get over it. Shocking how she can't remember one thing, but THIS she could not get out of her mind!

Staying positive is SO good for them, but you need to take care of yourself too. Find someone to give you a few hours of relief a day if possible. And God bless you and keep us posted!

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