How do I deal with my depressed, 80 year old mother, a full-time job, and 7 year old triplets?
I am almost at my wit's end. My life is a rollercoaster of emotion. I am an only child, by the way. My mother has several health issues, one which has rendered her almost unable to walk. My dad lives there and takes care of her, but not to her satisfaction, which I hear about daily. I have a difficult job at best, and I am worried about some complications with it. (I need to work, by the way, for the extra income.) And, I am taking care of triplets. My mom tries to lay guilt trips on me - she can go from being in a decent mood and talking about something in general, to telling me how I have no time for her in the same conversation. I think she is jealous of the other grandmother, who is active and a lot younger. My mom can't do anything with the kids unless someone is with her. She will point out that I make time to do things with my mother in law but not with her. (My mother in law has taken the kids to a few places - her treat, and we were not gone but a day or two. We have done this 3 or 4 times over the course of several years.) My mother doesn't get along with my dad, and unfortunately, I'm caught in the middle. I can see both sides of the issue, but Mom will not listen to me about Dad, although Dad will listen to me about Mom. It's just a difficult situation. I am a teacher, and I moved grade levels and rooms. School starts in a couple of weeks. We are just now able to go in and fix our rooms (floors weren't ready). My mom now wants me to go with her and Dad on a trip the week before school - my most critical time. I told her I couldn't go then, so she pointed out that I could find time to go with my mother in law, but not with her. She then said she could not go with my dad alone - too much fighting, so she guessed she wouldn't go at all. A few weeks ago she wanted to take one of the kids with her and Dad, said she wished I could go but knew I had a lot to do...she changes her mind like this , constantly. Please understand that if I had the time and thought she would not be in a bad mood (very depressed a lot), I would go when I could work it out. She knows I have had a difficult time with work (my boss), and I struggle with raising triplets and trying to teach them the right things to do (my husband is not much help in that area), and she is sometimes very supportive. But, she will "flip-flop" in a second, as far as her outlook goes. I don't know what to do. I have let my house go because I am so down (I am on meds for depression) about my mom's situation and my job, plus I have children issues. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this? Talking to Mom won't do any good - she is never wrong. I just need some good coping skills on my end. Thanks