My husband of 47 years has Alzheimer's. How can I cope with feeling angry, frustrated and disappointed about this?

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I have been married 47 yrs.. my husband being the strong supportive he has Alzheimer's.... I am finding myself angry, frustrated, disappointed.... what happened to my marriage... my life, our life...
How do I find balance, stress relief...
we have moved to another state, know no one , have no family...
It seems the world is falling apart..
Having cared for my mother-in-law for 3 yrs with Altimerzers I know what is happening and what is to come....
I can do this.. but I need to find some things that will bring relief, some way to let go of the frustration..
Anyone have any suggestions????????

Answers 1 to 9 of 9
Been there, understand. Hard to do, but YOU need to take care of yourself in order to be able to help your husband.

Support groups can be incredibly useful. Knowing others are out there in a similar situation somehow helps. Churches have begun to offer more caregiver support than in the past. Check yours to see if there is a caregiver coordinator.

Take advantage of respite services offered by your state/county. You will need that kind of help to handle this.

The Alzheimer's Assoc. provides this resource:
Top Answer
I am a 55 yr. old wife to a husband of 76 who recently had brain surgery. Anyway, he comes home after rehab and will not cooperate. I have helped with someone with alzheimer's, and I just start relating with them on a different level. I see my own husband with different capabiliies ( those of a young person of maybe 12), but I love him and I felt as you did. Frustrated, mad, and at times, beside myself. I am a believer in God, and have learned to lean on Him. I have read Ps. 107. This works for me. To deal with anger, Jesus himself, displayed and felt anger. But, if anger stays with you, it will open the door for you know who to work. Don't stay mad, don't give up, tell God what you're feeling and what you need. He's a crock-pot, slow to answer sometimes, but He Does answer. He answered me! I believe He will help you NOT feel alone! He's with YOU!
my grand mother is in the last stages of altimerzers/ we have hospice coming in to help. she developed pnumoina. drs dont think it will be long. the problem were having is her husband. my step grandfater, is in the early stages of this. and hes giving the family a hard time trying to take care of her, he thinks he knows every thing, hes been taking care of her but now things have gotten much worse, my mom was put in charge of giving my gramma her pills, then her husband will argue that hes already gave them to her, when she knows better, but no one can argue with him, he gets very angry and will make them leave, so every ones trying to stay on his good side so they can be around my gramma and help her, they have decided they may have to go over his head if need be, but there hoping he dont get any worse, for instace, he heard my mother on the phone saying they may need to up her pain pills, shes in pain, he stormed in , said hes not gonna let her become a drug attick get dependent on them, he dont want to relize she wont be here much longer. we dont know what to do about him, every ones angry, and stressed
Oh Elzabeth.. my heart just breaks for you and your family!!! But maybe for the sake of your grandmother its time to take her to your house, so she can have what she needs as her time draws to a close. I know thats easier said than done, but your step grandfather is sick too and what he wants and thinks is right is not helping her.. is he on meds yet?? Oh this disease is so very awful!!! It may take the whole family together to accomplish this..can you have a family meeting?? Sometimes just having everyone in agreement makes doing something this hard easier...
Thank-you to Alzlady and Francicoffee!! Both of you have helped me... yes I have found a church here with a support group, haven't been yet, but will ... and YES.. I do believe GOD is with me, with us in all this.. stil get awfully mad, but I am learning to let it go.... thank-you again for caring.....
Hey, I just wanted to post the improvements my husband is making. I have wanted and needed to go back to work so bad, and family can't help, and work won't help me in a way I thought they could due to liability rules. Well, I told God in a prayer that I wan't going to get angry and I am taking it to you and asked him to help me. I knew that He would. Well, the very next day, both of the aides and therapists that came over said that it should be ok to leave him alone for maybe half of a day. He is able to get around and do things for himself, and I will be able to work half a day for three days a week. I am also moving into a new home, it is cheaper since he is not working. It is nice, and all I need now, is manpowere to help me move the heavy stuff. It will be ok, and I believe the support from my ladies group at church was a real support! You will make it, tell Him your real feelings, concerns and then tell Him you trust Him! He will take care of you, believe me.
Your faith is inspirational!
Thank you for the compliment, which you are complimenting God. I didn't used to have this kind of faith. Until I got home and was seeing who approved us or turned us down, I just turned to God. I had to exercise that weak muscle of faith and just see what He could do for us. Afterall, he does know my heart and so I just tell Him like it is and what I want, knowing that it had to be agreeable with Him and then just wait. Waiting is hard and afterall, there were lots of agencies, nurses, hospitals making me wait so I waited. I also looked around for rent houses and was getting lost in that maze. So, I told Him that I needed Him to show us the house to rent. He sent my husband's brother over to us and showed us a house to rent, and as we checked into it, I saw that this was the one God wanted us to have so we have rented it and will be moving into it this next week. He really does answer prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All the answers here are from 9 years ago. Why is it showing up so high on the list?

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