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My husband was attending day care and then started having incontinence problems I was told that he couldn't attend any longer. He really liked it and asked to go. I could get in home care but then he wouldn't get the interaction that he so enjoyed there. I am getting so exhausted and more depressed each and every day.

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I hope you live in a large enough area where there are more ADC choices. In my community, some smaller ADCs won't take people who are incontinent, however since many - and eventually most - people with Alzheimer's disease will eventually be unable to use the bathroom predictably, incontinence is just one more thing to cope with. So many ADCs do take people who are incontinent. I'm so glad your husband enjoyed ADC. Even though many people fight the idea, once they go and find they can socialize, they like it. I hope you can find another one who will take him. If not, please consider in-home care. These caregivers can give you a break and give him some extra company. It's not the same, but it's something.
Good luck,
Carol
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Thanks for getting back to me so fast. Now that the holidays are over I have a lot of things to think about and make some hard decisions, I bought a new smaller smaller home about 2 yrs ago hoping I could manage it but it is getting too much. I will be thinking about selling it and going into a senior independent
Living center where every thing will be taken care of and I myself can get some socializing. I don't know if that is possible but it is something I want to look at very seriously. Thank you again and I hope you have a Happy New Year!
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An Independent facility will not have incontinent care. However, some of the Independent living facilities do have folks that come in to help with that for an extra charge. You may also want to check out an Assisted Living facility that has help for that in house. Check the prices and the convenience to you and to your husband and compare. Then you can make the right decision. Good luck. We have just gone through a similar situation with my parents. They are now in assisted living and we will be selling their home to raise some cash to keep them there without draining their other assets.
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HELLO:

MY MOM IS INCONT. SHE USES PAMPERS AND ATTENDS ADH. THE FOLKS HERE TRY TO HAVE HER GO BEFORE AND AFTER MEALS OR ACTICVITIES. THIS SHOULD BE A PART OF HIS ARE PLAN. SHAME ON THE FACILITY. I PRAY YOU HAVE OTHER CHOICES. THEY SHOULD NOT STOP HIS ATTENDANCE BUT WORK WITH YOU TO ADDRESS THE ISSUE. I WILL PRAY FOR A RESOLVE.
BLESSINGS-
DPRAYS
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I have my husband on a bathroom schedule here at home, most of the time it works but he does have an occasional accident. I admit that I don't always have the patience with him. I know that he can't help it. It just is so hard and I know that it will get worse. A lot worse !
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I have never heard of a Adult Daycare not accepting people with incontinence. My parent went to one and most all were incontinent so look around. Try Sarahcare franchises, or ask around, good luck.
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Solution: Catheters. Perhaps if you offered the particular facility a solution so that they would not have to deal with his incontinence themselves. If you contact Liberator Medical (I use them for my dad) I found that a Condom Catheter is the solution for trips out of the house and for overnight when he's sleeping so that none of us have to get up to toilet him. Liberator Medical (or other companies that deal with these products) will send you various supplies to try and then send you 3-months' worth of supplies and do the paperwork for you because it is payable by medicare (diapers I understand are not). They have leg bags which tie around the leg, and we combine that with an adult diaper, another bladder control pad inside of the diaper and then a plastic diaper pant on the outside for extra protection, and that way we can take dad out to dinner, the movies, trips etc. without having to worry to much about the toileting issues (other than when he is at home and we can put him on a schedule). If he is at day care for 4-5 hours, one leg bag, diaper, pad and outer plastic pant should be ample protection for that time period. Try this and offer it to the facility as a solution - if they have no work with him they should not object. Good luck.
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Hello. Once thing that you first have to do is maintain the dignity of the person who is incontinent. You can use either Depends which are like underwear and I find these are only good for seniors who are not heavy wetters. The actual briefs with tapes are much better for those seniors who are much heavy wetters. Now, as to a daycare you need to make sure the center has a DHEC survey. I have found some are much better than others. Make sure that they can have your loved one on a toileting schedule. Depending on the Independent living some have people come into the community to assist with care. Other companies such as Assisted Living will charge you a room rate in addition to a care rate. I know several in home care companies that can handle all this in the home. I have two that I feel are VERY good and have a great reputation. You have to decide what is best for your loved one and how that person will be given a purpose back in life and be treated with dignity and respect with this issue.
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Skipton1234, I have found the depends are horrible and I buy a booster to put into them which helps 70% of the time but thats more money of course. I have some attends given to me once and they are a Pain to put on but they do hold more! What do you suggest? I tab them before I put them on her and adjust them but she cant stand long and its so hard using them, I use them at night with a depends over it and 50% of the time she has not gone thru the bedpad. She seems to hold her urine all for one good long one causing nothing to work. Would love more ideas. thanks
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Does she urinate more heavily at night? I have found sometimes a hot bath and or shower helps with the release of urine at times. It helps relax the bladder and muscles to help with bladder holding. Other than getting a consult with a good urologist that can check to see why urine is being held. I know some folks get straight catheters to drain urine that is being held. Not very pleasant to have to do and more complex on a female and also a dignity issue. Tough subject. Changing her often and toileting her every two hours at night. This is tough but getting her on a toileting schedule may help also.
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