We can't do it anymore. Dad is refusing to go to the wonderful assisted living home we found. What to do?

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We took dad from being in a wheelchair & unable to do anything for himself except to eat to walking with a cane, going to the bathroom by himself & making his own bed. At age 88 he is in the best physical condition he can be. We have provided attentive & loving care for 6 mos. He has repeatedly stated he wants to move out & be around people. We take him as many places we are able & have tried to interest him in cards, exercise, etc. I have a sister many miles away who is no help. We have taken dad to see several homes, he dismisses them all & forgets he took a tour. Fortunately he has the financial means to be private pay. My husband & I have no children & we are 61. We would be thrilled & grateful to have children like us to care for us in our older age. I'm going to a support group this week & will ask this same questions. Seems like I can't do or say the right thing. I have fibromyalgia & my physical condition is worsening.

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Sounds like you may benefit from a Geriatric care manager to help you and your father assess his needs and provide a strategy for both of you to cope with the idea of a move and help with the transition once he has decided to give it a try.
Not only can they assist with this but also can provide care once he makes a move providing you with peace of mind and advocacy for your father. Where do you live? Are you familiar with GCM's? You can find a list on line at the PGACM Professional Association of Geriatric Care Managers or CMSA the Case Management Society of America. They have listings in all geographic areas.
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