Is it common for Dad to be obsessed with dates, times, appointments, etc?

Yes it is common.. He realizes he is becoming forgetful and anxious that he will forget his appts..

My Mom works herself into a frenzy hours before she needs to leave the house, I have stopped telling her about upcoming events and appts.. She lives with me so I can let her know that day and make sure I give her sufficient time to get ready.

Different patients have different obsessions. For some it is groceries. For others it is Kleenex. The most annoying are those who focus on their own health issues and think they are dying every other minute. Obviously Dad is an organized thinker and struggles to remain so. Encourage him on the first call, but then ignore the phone after that.

Why don't you try writing down the appointments on a huge calendar? I do this so my husband knows what is happening every day and in the week. Then when he forgets and asks me, I say, "Check the calendar".

Yes, very common. OCD. Two of your earlier responders said write it on a big calendar or just don't tell him.

I have now had two years of experience with a 95 year old mother who has very mild dementia. I just don't tell her. She would just drive me crazy prior to any appointment. It took a while to figure it out, but I do not tell her anything in advance.

Good luck!

I have found out that it best not to give too much information it cause them to repeatably think about important issue. Wait until about a hour before you go that enough time for them to deal with issue. then it will soon be over and done. You can't dump lots of things on them or you will be explaining and answering question over and over.

last night I told my 83 year old husband ( mod ALZ ) that our SIL was coming by in the am, he went off the wall, I used to be able to tell him 2 days before, but after that reaction I will wait till the day of. In my case, forget the calendar, they cannot relate to time & space, my husband can not answer what date, day, or year it is, let alone have him check the calendar - it's Greek to him. Just bought him a new watch with a large digital display as the hands on his watch became a real obsession with him, he could not figure out the time anymore. Even with the digital I know he is only reading me the time, it does make him proud, but he does not understand it. I would suggest just not giving your a Dad any information that will cause a frenzy. Calm is good

My husband thinks he will not live out the week - every week - and hopes it will be true.
If I tell him that we have a lunch date with one of the children, in two days, he begins to lay out his shirt and asks if his pants are OK for this date. I also do not inform him until about three hours before the due time of the lunch date..
It must be pretty common for these afflicted folks..I like the calendar idea - will try that!

My father does this too. Has even laid awake all night before someone is coming the next morning to pick him up for church as he is afraid he won't get up in time--even when I'm the one who always wakes him up!! He constantly asks when he us going someplace, or when someone is coming. His latest obsession ( it changes every week) is asking over and over about going to the local college so he can sign up for a certificate course on fetal alcohol syndrome ... a course that he couldn't possibly take since he barely can comprehend anything he is reading. The good news is that now he is obsessed about wanting to go into an assisted living place when a month before he adamantly refused. So he has finally come to terms (on some level) that he needs help on a level that we can't provide; specifically, that he needs socialization.,

Anyway, the calendar idea is good. I do that. Even better is to write upcoming events on a whiteboard, then just say look at the board AND the calendar. I also try not to tell him in advance about upcoming events or I will be asked about it all week or weeks...over and over and over. HIQEVER, sometimes I do want to tell him in advance IF the particular event is hinging on hope--meaning it is an appointment that will actually allay his considerable anxiety over something he is afraid will or won't happen.

Hope this helps!

I did not have this problem with dates. However, my father needed lots of time to get ready for any social gathering. He also needed a nap before such gatherings, and I found he could not take company for more than 1 1/2 hours so we often left parties early. After awhile he was not able to be at social gathering after 4 or 5 pm because his energy level didn't last longer even with a prior nap. It was difficult for some family members to understand their evening parties were too late even if they began at 6 pm. Working health adults don't realize the elder lacks stamina.

Also: you know how uncomfortable you feel when you know you've forgotten something but you can't think what it is? (In my case, it's often my own head, sigh…) I suppose having dementia might involve feeling like that about almost everything. Frightening and confusing.

GA, you're absolutely right about the checking and needing to reassure oneself too - with me it can be getting out of bed twice over to make sure I've turned the heating down (when I have). Oh Lord, are we saying that just because you're demented it doesn't mean you can't have ocd too…?!!!

I am going to learn to meditate properly or I will be taking after my mother before my time.

Thank you for the WalMart idea KDCM - we've got an Asda not far away, which WM owns, so maybe they can help.