How to deal with an extremely negative, difficult, and MEAN person who takes their misfortunes out on you as the caregiver?
I brought my dad, who is 75 with CHF, diabetes, PVD, statis uclers, and a right leg amputee, home with me to be his primary caregiver so he would not have to go into a nursing home. I did this because I love him even though most of my life I have had to pursue him in order to have any kind of a relationship with him. He left in the middle of the night when I was 11 and can honestly say that is one big reason why I never got married.
When he lived at his own apartment, he never took care of himself and this is why he kept getting staph infections and ulcers. He did not take his medication properly and basically has been a depressed person most of his life.......probably due to the fact that he has had a lot of difficulties.
I will be putting him back into a nursing home but I do not want to stay in this area (it is very rural and I am used to the suburbs and cities). I know deep in my heart I have to let go because their is only so much disrespect and emotional abuse one can put up with before they finally realize that it is time to get a life of their own and I do not have a problem letting him go. No matter what he does or how he treats me, I still love him and want the best for him but as a 40 year old adult woman, I know I am not responsible for his depression, his anger, and his negative attitude, even though he frequently takes it out on me. I am tired of hearing excuses from my family for his behavior. They state he is insulting because he feels guilty about me taking care of him. I am sorry but I do not buy that argument. It is time for me to set healthy boundaries for my life and pursue the things that I need, namely respect from someone who loves me.
Unfortunately I am coming by that little and little these days. Any encouragement or comments I would greatly appreciate. Please help in any way you can.