How can I get my mom to see that my 81-year-old father, who's has suffered from a stroke, can't be her caregiver?
First of all, I almost feel disrespectful talking about this, but my mom is extremely over weight, needs help dressing and bathing, can't put her own shoes on. She sits in her lounge chair, and watches tv and sleeps off and on, all day. I'm leaving my house and chores, to go and help my Dad, while my daughter's at school. He's so feeble, ( and mentally I see that he's slipping) trying to go up and down steps, doing laundry,cleaning,paying bills. She doesn't even take care of her oxygen-stuff. She knows nothing about managing the portable tanks, nor could she lift them. She can't drive, even though she will argue with you, that she could 'stay awake' behind the wheel, because she would have "something to do". She doesn't know how to even put gas in a vehicle. She needs a walking cart to hold on to, to get in and out of places, if a wheelchair isn't available, which my Dad has no business trying to lift that cart out of the van. ...but, HOW do I get her to see this? She will tell me that she can do these things, that my Dad just jumps in and waits on her every whim..but I've heard her, he doesn't do that, she asks him. If I would point blank put him on the spot, he would fib on her behalf. It's like the person that is the most disabled, is in control. If I make my mom mad at me? His life would be miserable. So, I just bite my tongue, and short myself time, and my house, and family get shorted. (I'm not 100% healthy, but I try) ..I really need some advice on how to handle this..I'm at a crossroad, and I don't want to make a mistake, that I'll regret. ):