How do I deal with being "cut" from the family?

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I used to live with my grandparents and was always called upon when one fell ill. I live on the opposite coast line now.Went to visit last March and my grandparents have lost their memory.I was thrown out of the house while my mother laughed and told me to not even bother showing up for a funeral. I have not spoken to anyone since.It's just ugly and terribly sad,when I was younger they all teased me that I was the "favorite", my Grandparents where just closer and more open to me. I still try to write but who knows if they even get it? Just feel terrible, like I've let them down. If I didn't have a family & live so far away I would be there, I guess God has other plans.Heartbroken:(

Answers 1 to 7 of 7
I'm so sorry about your grandma and grandpa. This Alzheimer's thing is awful. The good news (if there is any) is that since both of them don't recognize you anymore, they can't miss seeing you right? You could still visit I suppose and talk with them, but you'd only be a stranger visiting, which is okay too. This is a hard thing to have to go through, but YOU still have all your memories of them and your life touching their life. I guess you'd better be thankful for that, cause it's all different now. Sorry.
Top Answer
Your not "Superwoman". You can't be in 2 places at one time. You have your own family to care for and they need you. Your grandparents should have been better prepared in the event that something like this should happen in their lives to protect family members. A "Living Will" is very easy to prepare. Do this for yourself and your family so other family members do not take advantage of you or each other. When you have a bit of free time re-watch the movie "Pay It Forward". It's a Karma thing, what comes round goes round. I've experienced bad behavior in my own family...walk a good life... and enjoy the future family reunion in God's Kingdom.
Why would your mom throw you out of the house? What reasons did she give you?
how can your mom throw you out?
Vashti: I sympathize with your uncomfortable and unjust situation especially as it seems not of your doing. Would your family members try to meet with one another under the guidance of a mediator or other conflict resolution professional? How about clergypeople? It seems that there are numerous,deep-seated issues that go way beyond the care of your elder relatives. Right?
I can only imagine how much you are grieving. I know that your grandparents must have loved you very much. Your mother sounds as if she has some major problems. If you question the motives behind your mother's behavior or if you feel that your grandparents are not safe, call the Department of Family and Children Services in their area.Don't give up if they do not respond. Find someone who is not involved who can assure you of their physical safety. Since their memories are an issue here, use yours as a gift to yourself and to others. Get any type of notebook, note cards, or even sticky notes and start jotting down random memories. I use the sticky note and note card method and often glue them in the notebook. Start checking in with distant relatives or become very close with friends, and create your own family. I have started doing so ,and it helps. Many of us have had to do so.You are not alone. Please stay in touch. Rebecca
Your mom threw you out...did she lose her marbles and what is her justification especially if your trying to handle long term care distance wise. Something is up and I would get to the bottom of it because ur not cut from the family....ur being punish for having a compassionate heart while the dysfunction runs rampart...take a stand and not i repeat do not allow it to get out of hand there could be some under hand dealings going and seems like ur mom was jealous of what you did for her parents vs, her so have no qualms get help and fight it...praying for you..

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