My mother in law is financially secure, she has a retirement income, along with one house she rents, and another she is selling via land-contract (so she gets an income from both houses also). She has on occasion fallen and needed help up in the past, though not in the three years I've been here. She is taking anti-depressants, and does seem better when she is taking them consistently. At one time with my husband's encouragement I attempted to give her her meds daily to ensure she didnt forget or take to many. This didnt work out well and she became very angry and would frequently cuss at me. She frequently berates me and has told me I dont belong here and that my husband's ex actually belongs in the house. (for the record, I had nothing to do with their divorce, I didnt meet my husband till years after his divorce). She is always very angry with me and treats me badly. But usually not in front of her son. Until a couple weeks ago when she told him she doesnt like me and she will never like me. She admitted that I was very nice to her, I cooked for her and try to help her and offer to take her to social events. But in spite of all I have tried she just isnt going to like me (her words). She further said she gets angry when I invite co-workers or my own children to visit.
She gets involved in my husband's and my decisions with his adult children that live with us. She gives them money and lies to us about them in order for them to get out of trouble. In essence they run to her when they don't do their chores making things escalate and become an issue with the kids and in-law against me if I get angry or want a consequence for not helping around the house.
My health has suffered I'm on blood pressure medicine, which I've never had a problem with until last year. I'm also now suffering from depression and mild anxiety attacks. My whole personality has changed, I feel old and beat down.
My relationship with my husband has been strained, because his mom has filled so much of the essence of our life, our own relationship is full of stress. I know it is his mom, I try not to say how much this is hurting me, hurting us, but I also feel the wedge it has caused between us.
My own children dont like to visit, they have seen or heard his mom berate me and it hurts them that I have to live like this. I love my husband with all my heart, but I feel like I'm losing my soul. I am in counseling, but honestly I dont think it is helping me. I have no control over the environment I'm in....