What can I do if my aunt, that I am caring for, refuses personal and medical care?

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My aunt has not been to the doctor, refuses care of any kind, ignores personal hygiene. I want to respect her wishes but I am afraid I will be accused of neglect. What should I do.

Answers 1 to 4 of 4
In my humble opinion, you should tell aunt that she must start bathing 3 times a week, must go to the doc and must attend to her personal hygiene. Tell her in no uncertain terms that if she does not do this on a weekly basis, that you are through taking care of her and that she will have to to go the NH or Assisted Living. Then follow through. I know it sounds harsh, but that is what must be done. Make a chart and check off when these things are done. Sorry to be so blunt.
Much sympathies to you Caringniece this is a hard situation. Brandywine I'm very interested in your approach because my mother self-neglects in similar ways and still lives independently, but I know legally I cannot force her to go anywhere as she is still competent. How can the threat of AL or NH have any power when the person can simply refuse to go?
Fairydust, I'm in same situation. My mom has dementia; but is with it about 60-70% of the time; when she is riled, she comes around -- so going to courts, forcing her to get help or move is moot (she has refused to go, cancelled all hired help or assistance), and won't let anyone in the house.
I'm interested in any advice anyone has.
Hi sunflo sorry you are in this boat too. I am always amazed when I read about elders who can be "put" in the car and taken to doctors they don't want to go to or to AL when they don't want to leave their homes. There will be no "putting" of my mother anywhere of "telling" her what to do until she becomes far more feeble than she is. Her will is incredibly strong. Still she will be well into the territory of self-neglect before she gets that feeble. Sometimes I feel my only option will be to call the authorities once it gets bad enough.

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