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Mum had a stroke that affected her speech/understanding when she was in her early seventies. She is now in her mid eighties. She has been living in an aged care facility for the past 2 years where she has been receiving wonderful low level care. She still makes her own bed and and tells me that she showers herself every night. She became very upset and angry when the staff talked to her about changing her clothes more often. I dont know how to approach her about this issue. I don't want to upset her or make her feel patronised or belittled.

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I'm not a great believer in the offerings of the "staff". I personally would not leave anything up to them.
Select a complete outfit and put it on her bed, so when she returns from the shower, the outfit will be there. Remove the worn outfit and hamper it.
If she showers at night, have ready the bed time clothes ( P.J.'s, nightgown etc.) , and put the next day's outfit on the near-by chair. Make sure there is nothing else on the chair. Shoes should be near-by also.
Hopefully you can do this.
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good luck. my husband is only 57 and he refuses to bathe more than once every week or two, and wears the same clothes for days on end. this is without being elderly or having alzeimers. he just doesn't care.
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I like Boz and Jave's ideas. My mother live with us and does the same thing. Our solution is that every night we talk about the agenda for the next day and choose an outfit. This only take a few minutes. Most of the outfits are almost identical. While laying out tomorrow's clothes, I put today's clothes in the hamper (sometimes I have to sneak them in) and then I take the hamper with me when I leave the room. In your case, you could do this whenever you visit and maybe label them for the days. My mom often thinks she has showered already when I know she hasn't so you might check on that too. She thinks she has because the days run together for her. Good luck.
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perhaps those clothes are really comfortable to her... is it possible to somehow duplicate the outfit and maybe that would help the situation. She maybe just does not understand that her clothing is dirty, sometimes our older loved ones loose their sense of smell and also they don't always reason well... just remember to be kind she may have reasons she cannot express.
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I'd leave the issue to the staff. If all else fails just have the staff create a policy in her care plan that clothing must be changed every day or every two days to live there. Maybe that is all that will be needed. If she believes its a rule or orders from a doctor she may follow it.
Should that not work and if they help with her bath at all have the staff simply remove the clothing when she takes them off.
Now that could cause her to decide not to take baths in responce so be sure you have in her care plan that she must take a bath every so many days to live there and be sure she knows that before that remove the clothing.
Good luck. Let us know what you end up doing and how it worked out.
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