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My 82 year old grandmother has just come to live at my parents and I's house. I'm 16 by the way. My grandmother lived in india all of her life and this is only the second time she has been to America. She can not be left alone because she has back problems and still thinks she is in her old house in India and she tries to go outside. I can tell my parents are stressed. They are 50 and 56 years old. they have work but they still make sure someone is with her. I try to help but it is hard because i dont speak her language and i suffer from a mild depression. Just seeing my grandmother not remembering things and thinking she is still in India is sad to me. I know this isn't a very good question. I'm just lost.

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Hi how r things going around your house with grandmother and your family??
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Let us know if you need anything, we are here to listen,,, and not give advice if all you need to do is talk.... hugs to you young man....
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Yes I am doing fine for now. Thanks
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MC, how are things going for you today??? Let us know how you are, you fell off into a whole sight full of "mama's' , so don't make us worry.... lol.... hope you found some ways to help that make you feel you are making a contribution.... hugs to you
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MC, All old people and especially grandmas feel young when there are younger people around them. Bring your friends home after school to do homework together. When you are finished, share a snack with grandma that you will all like. A wonderful game to play with grandmoms is seated balloon volleyball--my husband was not going to play, until he saw how much fun we were having. He loved it and so does our grandma. It's easy and makes us laugh. Gives her exercise and can be played with two or more players. Just check with your parents first, to make sure it won't hurt her back. If she can't play, have your friends play and she can watch. I promise she'll laugh! Grandmoms always like birds and feeders where they can see them from inside. You rock!!
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My aplogies MC.... so now I am even more impressed... so you know what your 'job' here is??? To live your life, be 16, keep up with the homework, that will releive stress from your parents knowing you are doing what you know to do... get that education, and maybe you will be the one to find the cure for Alzheimers, or Cancer, or MS, or anything else that ails us... You must have some very proud parents... I don't even know you and I'm proud of you... but again, do you know how to cook?... LOL.... hugs to you....
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I am actually male. Haha. Yeah I am trying to do more around the house to help. Its just that I also have lots of homework to do.
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MC, ask your parents how you can help them, they would be the ones that will have ideas for you. I know your parents probably seem old to you, but trust me they're NOT. They have the ability to make sure your grandma is taken care of, so don't think you're the one that has to take over while they're at work. You're not. That's their job. Your job is to enjoy being 16 years old, because soon enough you'll be old like us. :)♥
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What an amazing young woman you are...and asking for help... you have a huge heart....
As far as the actual caregiving, please know you will have limitations to help in this way, possibly making sure Gma has some company now and then... is she able to help you learn the language, if not, go online and learn some of the basic communications.... I feel that would be to your advantage...
And ask Mom and Dad how you can help... I doubt they will expect you to do any 'hands on ' care... do you know how to cook? Possibly making a meal once in awhile, or helping with the chores around the house... which I'm pretty sure you do already....
They are probably trying to protect you from having to do much of anything as they want you to be a 'teenager' doing what teenagers do, and to not be burdened with this...
Just try talking with them... asking them how you can help... if nothing else they are going to be proud of the outstanding young woman they have raised... come back and let us know things are for you..... it is stressful for you too, and we are here for you.... you will get a lot of support here... so hugs to you, and I hope you find some things to lighten their load.....but not add to yours....
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Thank you for your help! I just want to help me parents relieve their stress. It will be tough though
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MCalam, this is a sad thing for you. I know you want to be caring and sympathetic, but I also know your entire life has been disrupted. It would be so much easier if you could communicate. The only advice I have is to be kind and to try to live as you were doing. I remember when my grandfather came to live with us for a while when I was young. It caused much stress in the house. There are no easy answers. If you can talk with your mother or father easily, ask their opinion on what is the best way to handle the changes. They are feeling the stress, too, although they may try to hide it from you.

I wondered if you live in a city that has a large population of people from India. Many cities do. It sounds like your grandmother may have dementia, since she thinks she is still in India. Maybe she will feel more at home if there are people who speak her language. Just a thought -- I don't know if resources (churches, civic groups) exist in your city.

I wish I had some ideas for you. The only one I have is to try to continue your life as before as much as you can. This is an adult situation, so depend on your mother and father to handle the worst parts. If you can learn your grandmother's language, she may have much to teach you. Learning the language will also be a great asset to you in the future. (If I had it to do over, I might have chosen linguistics as a career. The potential is amazing -- travel, high salaries, high demand for talents. Perhaps you can even turn this troubling situation to your future advantage.)
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