How do I deal with being accused of theft, mismanagement and taking his car?

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My 90 year old father was diagnosed in May with early to moderate Alzheimer's. He is in severe denial. About the same time his doctor wrote the Medical Review Board in Florida requesting that his driver's license be revoked which it was. I was given POA in August last year and due to poor decisions on money I took over most of the banking and started a Money Market account to put most of his retirement in and leaving him about $500 a month as "pocket change." We share a house and I pay the utilities and buy most of the food. I needed to start an emergency fund as we are for all intents and purposes broke so saving for taxes and insurance is paramount. He forgets over and over again about this arrangement we made at his lawyer's suggestion in her office. He is telling anyone who will listen that I am either stealing or mismanaging his money and that I have taken his car. He has revoked my POA with a blank form he received from a local senior center. He filled it out himself and had someone notarize it. He is not completely competent to do this but many of the places he has submitted this to have accepted it. I am unable to get past his lawyer's assistant to speak with her about this. No one else wants to take on the responsibility, not that I do but it is what I accepted to do. I feel like I am hitting a brick wall and want to know should I just let this go until someone really recognizes that he is incapable of making his own decisions? He is high functioning and can charm people so most do not believe me. Has anyone else had this happen? How could a revocation of a POA be acceptable by not being on any sort of letterhead or from his or any lawyer and why would a notary notarize something without questioning what they were notarizing? Or, can anyone do this on their own?

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Happy Halloween to you too! :)
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Lisa - well the witch of the west did have a great hat and those monkeys. But the east had the better shoes. lmao. Happy Halloween.
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Igloo572, thank you so much for the very detailed letter. I am working toward getting my own lawyer. The local Alzheimer Assoc. group recommended one and I have a call into them.

I had the silly notion that when the POA was active that because I don't always feel my father is capable that when I call as his POA that I am calling his lawyer on his behalf with his best interest but apparently that isn't so. :(

I did speak with the head of the senior center and she was kind and knows and recognizes that he has dementia and told him she refused to help him. What she did do, which I wish she hadn't, was to give him a blank revocation form. Clearly a notary at the library or something did you stated is that she and another person would witness his signature and notarize it regardless of the gravity of the implications and ramifications of revoking someones POA.

I was at my doctor's office yesterday and his nurse said that if he issued the revocation of the POA (10/25/2012) after the diagnosis (May 2012 and again at the VA in Sept. 2012) that I can contest it or fight it. Not sure if that is true but I am looking into it.

I will call the Area on Aging and the VA to see what options of help they can offer.

LOL! Yes, he has told many how awful I am and some believe him and others do not. East or West... let me look at those "ladies" again and see which I prefer!

Thanks again for all your help and thoughts! Have a lovely week!
Lisa
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You need to get your OWN attorney & I'd suggest you find one who has experience at doing guardianships. Most courthouses have on-line access to recorded documents - as these are all public records and anyone can get copies of almost everything filed - what you can do is go to the on-line records for probate court and see who the attorneys are who file dockets. In most situations, it is going to be the vast majority of the time the same groups of attorneys who do the majority of the work. Those would be the ones I'd call to see if they could be my attorney as these attorneys are going to know how to make things fly through probate court (where usually guardianships are heard) and in your favor. When they are being obstinate and in total denial as your dad is becoming - well imho it is only going to get worse and if you want to be able to do for him and get him the care and services he needs (which will only increase in the near future) then you will have to become his legal guardian.

I'm guessing that the attorney who did the DPOA has to view your dad as his client and dad may have contacted them as to that and therefore the paralegal cannot help your or have the attorney answer your calls. Just going out on a limb here but could someone in the senior center be assisting or guiding your dad in all this? If you think that could be the case, I'd suggest you (be very calm and very organized and practice saying your concerns aloud in advance as dad has made you out to be a total witch) make an appointment with whomever is in charge (there will be someone as the center is probably getting either state or federal $ to run the center and there has to be some in charge - you might be able to google the program to find out) to discuss your dad's situation.

Also contact your Area on Aging - this site has a drop down list by state - to discuss your dad's situation. Doing this now could be very good and a pre-emptive strike to show that you are the concerned daughter and not an elder care abuser, which I bet dad tells everybody that you are.

Notaries, well, there are all sorts of issues as many states do not require any legal or ethics training. I had to get all sorts of notary work done after Hurricane Katrina and the easiest one was at a used car dealer whose only concern was that you had exact change to pay them. Crazy.

None of this is easy and if you can, try not to take it personally. What I've found is that you really have limited choices as to the kind of witch you get to be.
HINT: you can choose east or west. But you can't be Glinda, the good witch.
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