How do I walk away emotionally and physically from the stress of caregiving for my controlling dad?
Hello, I am a mother of a child with Tourettes Syndrome who I homeschool because of the severity. I also have a father who has had three strokes and my mother who lives with him and cares for him.
They are divorced though! My mother has suffered greatly from his abusiveness moslty mental. She also has a son who has been very abusive into drugs and now is clean but is very effected from the abuse of using all those years.
He is very mentally controlling and he and I have had several incidences to the point of him trying to harm me. My mother doesn't want to acknowledge this as much and just wants us to get along. I am nor have I been a drug user, alcohol consumption user
. So my wits and mentality are still here. My problem is now my mother almost past away from an Upper GI bleed. She was in ICU for a week. I went to clean the house for her while she was gone so it would be nice for her to come home to. I was so upset and angry all at once.
I washed layers of smoke off of every item I could. I cleaned and I cleaned. My father soaks his bed like a minature lake every monring and throws his urinated clothes on the carpet. It smells bad. I cannot stand to be in this smoke haven
. I also have child to care for and I do not live close. My mother tells me that she cannot put my dad in a home because she depends on his check to live. I tried to get VA home health care in and she denied it saying she was embarrassed about the condition of the home but she was to weak to clean it.
So, my dad is not eligible for home health care for a year now. He needs to be in a home he is not clean nor is the surroundings. I have asked my mother to come live with us.
She doesn't want to she says I guess to my brother that I am to stressing. I wonder why! She will not do anything to help herself. So now I am left with the guilt of trying not to care, but it doesn't work it keeps me up at night.
I am not getting frustrated with my child and I never do that. I am depressed and I just want to know is it okay for me to walk away emotionally and physcially from this. I cannot help this situation and my sibling is so controlling and mentally off that I don;t know what else to do to.
I need to stay healthy and survive for my son and my husband. I have tried to hard to do what I can and nothing helps it. I don't even want to go back to that house anymore and I cannot bring my son due to the large amounts of smoke by all three of them.
Thank you for listening any advice would sure be appreciated. Sarah