livingon2wheels Asked March 2010

Are there any caregivers here who feel that their mood mirrors how their elder is doing?

Follow
Share
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
8

Answers

Show:
KarenBeth Mar 2010
Anne123 It is the same way with my Mom and Dad. If I have any stress I have to really hide it, or the whole day goes to pot. Somedays (most days) I feel like they look at me to set their mood. sigh..I do the same thing, put on a huge smile and give them a big hug and start if all off positive! and the same goes for me, if they are down, I find myself wanting to be down too!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

anne123 Mar 2010
I've noticed that my father mirrors MY mood. I have read that this can happen when people have certain kinds of dementia. They will mirror the mood of the person with whom they are interacting. And no question about it, there is that tendency for me to mirror his mood. So I have to try to keep a firm control of my emotions when I am with him. I have noticed that my first interaction with Dad sets the tone for the remainder of our visit. If I greet him with a big smile and a big hug and a "Dad!", that goes a long way toward setting the tone for a better visit.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

KarenBeth Mar 2010
I am going to try the garden again. I have put that off for way too long. It's great therapy for me, but I am afraid I started my baby plants too soon. My brocoli is almost 3inches hi, and we got snow this morning, dang it. Mom can't garden this year, so she can put around in mine. Pamela6148, my secret dream is to be on a roller derby team..lol...no really
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

toadballet1 Mar 2010
I have been living in a fog for the last 2 weeks. Everytime I try to get back to my old self some emergency rears its ugly head and I have to drop everything to deal with it. I hate, HATE, doctor's offices - but there I am nearly weekly. I have gained a ton of weight and have no desire to get rid of it. (I realize that I am stress eating, but it seems to be the only thing right now that doesn't bite back.)
My mom is in survival mode...she sees me as someone who can take care of all her needs and that's it. It is sad to see this once vibrant woman decline...but I feel like I am declining too.
I can't tell friends about it - they glaze over in about 2 seconds (they don't even know about the really tough stuff.)
I had a major melt down yesterday...but does it count if no one is around to hear it?
The only thing that seems to help is to do something creative and positive - even if it is a little thing. It gets me up in the morining.
good luck,
Lilli
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Further, I have found exercise helps counteract the lethargy that seems to go with the job. Riding the motorcycle helps too, especially if I use it as a time machine to get away from town for a whole day, I can almost feel renewed at the end of that day. So I guess this is the equivalent of Pamela's gardening. BTW Pamela, how did the skating session go? I bet it felt good to get moving again!

Tom
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Glad to see that I am not alone in that rather strange occurance. The funny thing is that I didn't realize my own energy level was mirroring hers until after she started to feel better and I realized I started feeling better too. The human psyche is a strange animal isnt it?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

shelleyanne Mar 2010
our sanity lies in our humor, easy for me to say, I have a husband, but we are crack up at the bull s that goes on around here, we hug mom and take her to the next dr. visit.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

pamela6148 Mar 2010
Now this is a great thread and I'll tell you how I feel.

Since my moms been sick it is like I've been sick too. We were just that close and for the life of me I am just now starting to slowly get back to the things I've neglected for so long. It took me forever to thoroughly clean my house and organize, well still working on the organizing. I am a seamstress but it took me until recently, and a whole lot of calls from clients to get back to my sewing machine. Normally I would get up early to fix my hair, but instead I did a hang on your shoulders curly rippled fro, (pix). I'm a roller skater and instead of skating I didn't even look at my skates until about 5 days ago (I actually got them out and cleaned them up and am going skating Saturday.

When mom got sick I didn't have time to do these things but when my sister took over I did but I had no get up and go as if my entire world had just been pulled out from under me. It was as though I'd lost my self esteem, heck I even gained 8 lbs. and believe me that ain't me. That's goin too soon as I get back on these skates and get back to my skating competitions. (I might be 50 but I'll be darned if I'm gonna let those 20 yr olds out do me in those leotards, even if mine are MADE OF "HOLD ME IN STRETCH MATERIALS" (hahahaha). Of course there's my NBA which I never give up on and that takes me away a lot of the times.

It's almost as if your grieving.

I started gardening and that has done wonders for me and my sanity. It's given me a new sense of worth and excellence if you will. It has reinstated my confidence and Lord knows I needed that.

Do you garden? any hobbies that are long overdue.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Related
Articles

Related
Questions