MsZany Asked October 2009

How can I take care of my 79 year old mother-in-law when I am disabled with Multiple Sclerosis?

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MsZany Nov 2009
Thank you so much and God Bless You - I was praying this morning for answers and then this afternoon I go on the computer - Again thank you! I will keep you informed - One day at a time.

You think with the struggles I have been through with MS and what all we have dealt with we would have gone about all this a little better - I guess I just worry about my spouse because I have caused him so much stress over the past 11 years and we have made many adjustments on both sides. It is hard to have been unable to always take care of me and just make do but I cannot allow that for my mil - she and I deserve better so I guess God is giving me an unanswered prayer being turned around to a answered prayer for the strength, knowledge and determination I have received.

Thanks!
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God Bless. Let us all know how it turns out.
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MsZany Nov 2009
You sound just like my daughter she said MOM you had to quit work and are on disability for a reason - YOU cannot take care of gma and I can only come in on weekends and not every one - she lives 5 hours away - I am going to shut up and let everyone else make the decisions - I thought when she was falling and struggling when I was not there woyuld open some eyes but now they are going to have to tell her the money will be spent to take care of her as long as it last in her home then or now they can start applying for medicaid - i printed all the material for them but now it is in there hands - i will visit when I can but I know that right now you are right as jodie has been
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Good luck!! Our men are stronger then we think since we do so much for them. However, when we step back, they are very capable. Let him flex his muscle!!! You sit back and don't volunteer for ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!
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MsZany Nov 2009
You are right great idea - I have gotten stronger since our meeting at rehab in telling my bil and sil that i cannot do this and how is it going to happen - it is like both brothers are still thinking there Mom is going to get well - it will asll work out and thank youo very much for great advice i am putting it all off on them except when I can back up my husband who is level headed just does not deal with stress and it is going to have to step up to the plate and deal
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Your husband should have POA since he and you are the caregivers. Get it changed or drive her to your BIL's house. You can't be the caregiver if someone else has POA. It just does not work. Sounds harsh, but you are being taken advantage of. Tell your BIL that you are packing her bags. His tune should change.
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MsZany Nov 2009
Thanks his brother has power of attorney and finally after I blew up yesterday told them they had to get there act together and spend the money that needsw spent to take care her.
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Who has power of attorney. Your husband needs to get it and get with it and tell his siblings to either get on board or go away!!! Spend the money for her care whether they like it or not!!!!!
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MsZany Nov 2009
To make short story long the rest of the family says they are going to do all they can but just make comments and show up at night because they have to work - I have told them I need help during the day and with my health I know this will not be good for long. The sons have not agreed to hiring even a part time cna due to the money - I think this is totally ridiculous. Everyone has an opinion of what needs done but it is all talk and no action - I have got to find a way for action to happen without it being my guilt like her last 2 falls which is why she is in rehab and coming home on 11/5 -I got sick and was not able to come down for 2 weeks well almost and my husband would go by cook her breakfast and make sure she had something to eat that is not caregiving
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Why are you in charge of your MIL? Where are her children? Give us more information, please.
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