applesed1 Asked February 2013

Has any one had to acquire guardianship of a parent in order to take care of them?

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My mother will not give my brother or I power of attorney, yet she doesn't pay her bills Her house payment has not been paid since my dad died in June and she thinks the house is paid off and that anyone who tries to talk to her about it is a crook. She owes her truck payment and we need to get back in the house to get the rest of her stuff out before it goes into foreclosure. Her real estate agent is trying to get the house into a short sale, she has a buyer, but the mortgage company has to agree, plus she has a second mortgage on the house that she says she didn't get even though there are papers with her and my dad's signature on. I can't help her straighten all this out if I won't talk with me. We talked with an elder attorney today and he said it would cost 3,000 to go to court to get a guardianship which includes doctor's visits and court fees for probate court. Every time we try and talk with her about it or the bills, she turns angry and mean and tells us to stay out of it that it's all taken care of,. but it's not.

My brother and I have taken her in our homes in SC (her house in FL was flooded in June a week after my dad's funeral). She keeps telling me that she wants to go back to her home, but she can't. She tells us that her friends and neighbors will take care of he, but that is not true either. Moving her around every few months is taking a toll on both of our families, but there is nothing else to do at this point.

I am afraid that if we go to court, she will snap and get sent over the edge and be committed. Any ideas or suggestions? Thank you.

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drjcd77 Feb 2013
Yes. I am an only child and had to go to court to ge guardianship of my father. He was in an AL and kept telling people I was keeping him there and stealing his money. He had a stroke and could no longer care for himself. He had one of his "friends," who was in AL for physical reasons, convinced that it was true. She offered to help him cash in his insurance policies and contact the ombudsman. This was the final straw. With my wife's help, we contacted our lawyer and began the proceedings. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but it was also the best thing. It kept him from being swindled by others and also allowed me to make the necessary medical decisions. He had to have a psychiatric evaluation that declared him incapacitated and unable to make his own decisions. We have to file an annual report with the courthouse showing his finances and how his money was used in the past year to take care of his needs. Stay strong and know that what you are doing is the best for all concerned. It will take a great deal of stress and anxiety off of your shoulders.
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cscstle Feb 2013
Wow applesed1, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. My struggles with my mom, over her finances, are nothing compared to yours. I know they get very angry and protective as they get older. And if their minds aren't right, its even more difficult. Im surprised the lawyer cant find a better answer for you. You may have to make her a ward of the state. However, that would take everything she has left and they would just put her in a NH. Sorry I dont have a better answer for you. I will keep an eye on this newsfeed. Im curious to see the answers you get. I will also check with some of my clients and see what they have to say. Thats the perk of being a hairstylist. You get to talk to a few professionals on their dollar not mine.
Best of Luck.
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