How do you care for parents and arrange move into Assisted Living when kids are across the country?

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Our father has advanced Alzheimers, my mother is his caregiver who is at her wits end and extremely depressed. They are both still living at home near Philadelphia, and all us kids live in different states. We are trying to arrange a move into a Senior Community, but we all have demanding jobs out of state. Who can help us with this daunting task? My mother is so overwhelmed she can barely function. Thank you.

Answers 1 to 9 of 9
Expert Answer
22 helpful answers
Working with a family transition coach or geriatric care manager is probably your best solution. These professionals do this all day, every day and will be familiar with the resources in your parent's area.

Ditto. I was going to say the same thing. Also, if they have a lot of friends, you could contact one of them and have them maybe visit assisted living homes and get all the information and send it to you.
A geriatric care manager is a must in this situation. Not only will they already know the facilities in your area, but by talking with you and your siblings, they'll be able to narrow down which are the best fit for your mom. Also, the care manager can visit your mom at regular intervals and email you and your siblings so everybody is aware of your mother's changing status. You can get a list of certified geriatric care managers from the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers.. Good luck!
Thank you all! I will look into that website. We have already secured a senior living community, but there is so much to do to prepare for the transition. My mother is completely overwhelmed, while us kids have very demanding jobs and don't have time to make phone calls, etc. I appreciate your responses!
I live 3,000 miles from my Mom, who is in a nursing home. I could not have done this without the help of the geriatric care manager/company. The specific nurse that oversees Mom's care is a Godsend and keeps me informed about everything. Good luck. It is not perfect but it is the best I could do under the circumstances.
This is a complex problem, but it is essential that everyone coordinate with the children and parent (s). Have you considered a concerige service to provide a friendly phone call weekly? This process will not only keep you informed of the daily or weekly issues but is a link that is missing. Care management and care coordinators can assist with this issue. I wish you the best and stay as much in contact as you can-let care managment resolve the rest!
In addition to these excellent suggestions, I would recommend the Handbook for Long-Distance Caregiving from the Family Caregiver Alliance. Also check out their state-by-state caregiving navigator. Good luck!
I will add this resource also my data base-thanks so much-Linda
If you could provide the website for the Handbook for Long Distance Caregiving, that would be helpful. I could not find it when I googled it. Thank you!

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