Boola907 Asked July 2012

How to care for aunt who is 106 and has just gone to nursing home but cries all the time when i go to visit?

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Boola907 Jul 2012
Cattails what a great suggeston that sound great! Ive been taking homegrown tomatoes and watermelon and she just loves it. She is after me to make chicken and dumplins for her and i promised I would. These little special treats are a good idea. Thanks so much. A very BIG HUG to you!!!! Boola
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Hi Boola: Today I took my dad a double cheeseburger from McDonalds. The NH staff set up a private room with a table and chairs for us to eat together. My dad enjoyed the cheeseburger and I promised I'd bring him more special lunches. Maybe you can do that for your aunt and spend some one on one time chatting privately and eating something different. Sending Hugs, Cattails
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Boola907 Jul 2012
Thanks for all your comments. They were very helpful. Im new at this and learning a lot. My Aunt has been in NH about 4 months. Went from private room in rehab to semi private in ICF not as good in every way for a private pay. We are now trying to spend down money with paying all expenses. Visited tonight at supper meal and she was in a better mood I wa sso Happy.Thanks to all
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rioblu Jul 2012
Find out why she is crying. Are you able to hire a sitter to stay with her during the week? Is the Nursing Home good, bad, mediocre? What kind of food are they serving? Is the staff responsive when you call for an aide or do you have to wait for a long tme for a aide to respond (i.e. for assistance with toileting)? What is the vibe that you have for the staff when you go there? Some signs of a good nursing home are staff that don't try to hide when the see you coming (i.e. act like they don't have time to talk to you or that you are bothering them when you do ask a question) , and that don't mind giving you updates on your Aunt when you come and appear to be staffed approp. Word of mouth is probably the best way to find a good Nursing Home. I have a 95 yr old Aunt w/Dementia in a NH that I am responsible for. I am paying a sitter to visit her 3 days a week. I would do more but I have to pay this out of my pocket and I live & work 3 hrs away. I'm trying to find placement for her in a good facility where I am.
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ladee1 Jul 2012
Boola, you haven't said how long she's been there... it takes time for them to adjust.... she is scaired.... it's ok, you be her advocate, making sure she is well taken care of, is clean, and bring her flowers sometimes, something to brighten her day and her room... always let her know you love her, and reassure her you have not abondoned her.... I think there is a stigma on going to a NH for our elders, they may think they have been discarded.... just let her know this isn't the case.... hope she adjusts soon.... hugs
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