My sister got POA and Health POA after my father passed in 2014. She is now in a assisted living. Lately, My mother wanted to come home i told her that my hands are tied and that I dont have POA and that my sister does. She is very hateful and put her there to sell the house and assets. I have a attorney and they are working to make her be transparent and just recently she moved my mother to another home and havent told me anything. I am extremely fustrated that she has done this to me and my mother whom I was very close. What can I do and who can I turn to do have this done.? correctly so I can see her again before she passes?
The nursing home can give you the precise date of your father's death, for which I offer my condolences. Armed with that information, you can then approach whichever authority deals with probate in your area and make enquiries. Following a death, a person's will becomes a public document which cannot be kept secret from anyone - and especially not an executor. It shouldn't be too difficult to make progress with this. I'd get busy on line if I were you. I'm sorry for your difficulties with your sister, too. Very stressful for all concerned.
My sister, primary caregiver, read martyr, of my father, who has spent the last 4 years in a nursing home, did not let me know when he died or whenhis funeral was to take place. I believe I am co-executor with her of my fathers will, this, however could have changed in the past 18 month as we had a falling out. Do I have any redress in this matter, also how can I find out if I am still an executor?
Not unless you have an incredibly good reason which, note, is related solely to your mother's best interests and nothing else you can't, no. What's the story? You might want to start a new topic - follow the instructions on the right under "Get Answers."
Believer, you'd do better to ask your own question - if you look to the right hand margin, you'll see the heading "Get Answers" and you can type your question into the box below it, then click on "Ask" and it will start a new thread. You'll also be able to add more details about your sister's circumstances.
My Girl and I have been taking care of her Mother for the last five plus years. As of late she has displayed some early signs of dementia yet she has been always remembered certain things over periods of time. Which my thought as well as my lady was that it wasn't serious yet to be a real concern.. It seems as I stated earlier we have all lived in her Mother's home and she stated several times she did not wish to go anywhere else as this was her home and if she would be allowed to stay here and if the time came she would move on from this life in her home. We had all taken care of things the best way possible as we are all on fixed incomes. Until my two heart attacks slowed me down to where I am not bringing in the extra pay. Yet her son who lives in Arkansas comes to visit a couple of days in the Summer shows up then returns after his visit, although this year takes the their Mother and after a couple of days with her comes back with Paperwork stating he now has Power of Attorney and we are to leave the home, She entrusted us with we took her to her Doctors appointments, fed her , watched her sugar intake as she is diabetic did her laundry, as she also assisted in as I took care of mending things and keeping up with various other tasks around the home.. Yet he has convinced her that we are no longer needed and now are to leave her side. If she was of sound mind when asking her daughter to please stay and take care of her and he comes to the picture seeing a moment she may have had in a slight demented state and holding her against her will not allowing either of us to see her, so she may express the feelings this so-called Son of hers is telling us is just words his own guilt is making himself to feel better. Is it this same Son who a day prior was to show up on the 80th birthday of this women who gave him birth, called to say he would be there then never showed up. Now is he done as we don't know where she is as he has taken her from where she wanted to be and states he is out for her best interest I need help to pass on to this tender-hearted lady I am with can make some sense of this Thanks for reading and any help that comes Bless you all for you insight
leswindows76, your mother bought you a condo -- is it in your name? The POA cannot kick you out of a condo you own. But if it is in your mother's name and the funds are needed for her care, that is a different matter.
Is your mother clear-minded enough to understand the situation? What does she want (assuming she is competent)?
Please provide a few more details, especially about the ownership of the condo.
my mother bought me a condo among other thing when i came back home in2009. my brother is saying he wants me out of there because he has POA and i live in very close to water and he wants to rent it out...can he do that
Linda1234, what instructions your brother can insist on the nursing home's complying with will depend on the nature of his POA.
In the UK, if I had concerns about the behaviour of someone with lasting power of attorney, and especially if neither I nor any other independent person seemed to be able to check on my mother's welfare, I would go to the Office of the Public Guardian and report them. Someone must know what the US equivalent is? Would it be the ombudsman? APS? Who holds the authority to scrutinise the operation of POAs?
Linda, a tip for reporting concerns like this: don't talk about your rights, because they aren't the issue. Talk about your mother's rights to see you; talk about her right to be protected from risk of abuse, financial, emotional, physical or whatever. Her right to have her money spent on her clothing, toiletries, good living conditions and so on. That's what you're trying to ensure.
I found it interesting, in an earlier post from some years back, that someone referred to having "Power of Attorney over his mother." You do get some odd, distorted ways of thinking around this subject. Nobody with POA has power "over" their parent. The parent has bestowed this power on the person with POA, the parent is allowing that person to act on his or her behalf in his or her best interests. It's a chilling thought that people see themselves as gaining the right to control their parent, rather than undertaking a duty on their parents' behalf: a lesson to us all to be extremely careful about whom we might choose to give this power to, when it's our turn to become dependents.
glo are you concerned with the mismanagement of your father's funds or your future inheritence? Your quote, "I just think they are using dad's money for themselves and not giving us any of what belongs to us." If your father is still alive the money belongs to your dad, not themselves or us! Wills are between the lawyer and their client. POA's are also not automatically entitled to what is written in a will. If you want to know what is in the will ask your father.
Chris, not much you can do. Once the Judge appoints the Conservator or Guardian, they are in charge unless the Judge removes them. Get counseling and shelter and move on with your life.
I have a question. I have a 85 year old mother who is in the nursing home. My brother has poa. Until a year ago I was the one who took care of our mothers needs. I payed her bills, signed her into an assisted living home and then she fell and broke her back. Then my brother who lives 5 minutes from my mother stepped in. He has cleaned out her bank account and I have no ideal what he has done with it. He has put her into a nursing home. The nursing home has been told by him they are not to tell me anything about my mothers wellbeing. I have tried to contact my brother at times I get terrible textmessage or he doesn't respond. My question is don't I have any right at all to know how my mother is doing? She needs her eyes taken care of and he has told me he will do it when she gets on Medicaid. What are my rights? I do live out of state but I go home often to see her. The last two times I went to see her she has no clean clothes, no personal care products. Any advise for me.
MphsChris, I am very sorry for the situation you are in. I am glad that you are turning your life around and that your parents have forgiven you. That must mean a lot to you. It sounds like your parents are judged no longer able to act in their own financial best interests, and so will not be able to provide you with funds. Your siblings are perhaps the ones to appeal to. Could they loan you funds to help you get back on your feet? Are you able to work? Do you have a job?
My dad is 94 and Mom 86. A few years back I was on drugs and pawned some of my Moms jewelry. During that time and since then until recently, I lived and took care of them. I have apologized for what I had done and they forgave me. In Jan, a judge awarded my siblings conservators over them. They have taken there car away, money, moved them into assisted living and tried to keep me away from them. I am out in the cold. My sibling threw all my belongs out of the house and now I have nothing. What can be done to them? My parents want me to stay wth them but I can not. My parents are well off and I have asked them for $2000 to get a place of my own and back on my feet. My Mom has stock and wants to sell some of it to help my but my siblings will not let her. What can be done if anything to help me?
My father and I are both POA of my grandmother/her son and he has been paying for her care up until Nov and my grandmother fell and broke her hip, My father agreed to let me move her up to a nursing home by me, well medicare stopped paying and she was private pay, my father wanted her moved back to the place she came from but dragged his feet for a few weeks. Well now she is back there and I am getting the bill for the nursing home, my father says he isn't going to pay it that I signed her in I need to pay it. Can I take him to court to get full care of her.
My brother talked my elderly mother into making him POA right after my father died. He was never involved in their lives until two days before my father died. I have lived my whole adult life 10 minutes from my parents house. When my father died he took such advantage of my mother and her mental state. Needless to say, he had her changed the will where everything goes to him.He sold her house and had her moved from NJ to a very rural place in Kentucky. Unfortunately my mother had a stroke this pass Sept. She is now in a nursing home and he is now spending my mothers money as fast as he can. If I ask him, does he have to show me what he is doing with her money?
Oh, Glo. I guess I was thinking more about splitting assets. I'm certainly not in a position to offer legal advice. But, I'm sure there is a way to subpoena payment records and if they misappropriated the money, you could probably make sure they are accountable. We recently had a case in our town where a professional caretaker was abusing P.O.A and using money for her own needs. They did catch her and she had to pay it all back into the estate. I guess it still involves a Lawyer=$$$$ Good luck. I hope things work out for you.
I'm not wondering if they ARE poa's, my brother and I just think they are using dad's money for themselves and not giving us any of what belongs to us. One of the poa's moved his son onto dads farm and at the time said that the son would pay rent, the phone is even still in dads name even though he has not lived on the farm for over two years. We think they are paying phone, electric, etc out of dads accounts.
I have power of attorney for my dad, 94. Although he lives alone, I am his caregiver, and he has left a lot of his assets to me (only). My brother has seen him about 3 times in the past five years. They never got along. However, lately my brother has shown an "interest" in the will. My attorney told me that I do not have to disclose any details at all. There are always battles when money is involved. I guess it depends how well you get along with your siblings. You can probably hire your own attorney and hold things up for years. That way, nobody will benefit except the attorneys.
I have Power Of Attorney over my 90 year old mother and my brother somehow was able to get a year's worth of transactions on my mother's bank account . How can that be
Yes, your siblings can instruct the lawyers not to share your parents' will with you .... but, if your siblings are on the up-and-up, and they rightfully have Power of Attorney (as they say they do), they should be willing to prove that to you, by showing you the documentation. I have Power of Attorney for my elderly dad, and when the time comes to "show" that to my brother, I will do so.
Usually wills and other finances are private matters and information is disclosed as the parents see fit. If your parents have instructed your sibs to keep their affairs private, there is not much you can do. Why do you need this information now?
correctly so I can see her again before she passes?
Is your mother clear-minded enough to understand the situation? What does she want (assuming she is competent)?
Please provide a few more details, especially about the ownership of the condo.
In the UK, if I had concerns about the behaviour of someone with lasting power of attorney, and especially if neither I nor any other independent person seemed to be able to check on my mother's welfare, I would go to the Office of the Public Guardian and report them. Someone must know what the US equivalent is? Would it be the ombudsman? APS? Who holds the authority to scrutinise the operation of POAs?
Linda, a tip for reporting concerns like this: don't talk about your rights, because they aren't the issue. Talk about your mother's rights to see you; talk about her right to be protected from risk of abuse, financial, emotional, physical or whatever. Her right to have her money spent on her clothing, toiletries, good living conditions and so on. That's what you're trying to ensure.
I found it interesting, in an earlier post from some years back, that someone referred to having "Power of Attorney over his mother." You do get some odd, distorted ways of thinking around this subject. Nobody with POA has power "over" their parent. The parent has bestowed this power on the person with POA, the parent is allowing that person to act on his or her behalf in his or her best interests. It's a chilling thought that people see themselves as gaining the right to control their parent, rather than undertaking a duty on their parents' behalf: a lesson to us all to be extremely careful about whom we might choose to give this power to, when it's our turn to become dependents.