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He has fallen several times, but he only fell back into the bed one time and the other times, someone has caught him before any injury occurred. He also has some dimentia. He wants to stay in his house by himself and the kids are saying okay. How is this any different than leaving a child alone at home? The kids want to get nursing care in, but he says "no". Can they legally leave him like that? The doctors said someone should be with him 24 hrs a day and be within arms length.

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No law as such, but because of diminished mental state and fall risk a family discussion has to be had, and if family needs to have a Social Worker, Lawyer or visiting Doctor (could be a discussion held in Dr office, with prior heads-up to Doctor that this needs to take place in medical setting, and family needs their support in re-enforcing in no uncertain terms that 24/7 care is now needed if plan and finances allow for continued semi-independent living at home, or that arrangements for Assisted Living need to be made; plus for sure Power of Attorney, Medical/End of Life directives need to be in place while your Father in law is able to make his own decisions.

Most elders afflicted with Dementia and Alzheimer's do not like these debilitation's being sighted, so I would highly advise more pointed mentions of Stroke aspect(s), and Stroke risks in future as being the reasons family and Doctor need father in-law to make his wishes and living arrangements known as a mandatory medical need so everyone can try to abide by his wishes in as much as is possible.

Give this a try and let us know how it goes, all the best!
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What is the law regarding someone who refuses help at 90 with slight dimentia, is catheterized, and has a balance problem in falling backwards due to a possible mini-stroke. He will not allow anyone to spend the night with him.
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Role-reversal is a difficult journey in it-self, but even more difficult when Alzheimer's and Dementia are in the mix.

Please share with your spouse from us that their Dad absolutely cannot be left alone!

They will need to collectively meet with him and no matter how difficult conversation may turn out to be, they need to communicate to him that they would happily support his decision to stay at home, but in order to do so, by law because of his high fall risk, he has to have a live-in caregiver; and they should take the opportunity to have him express his wishes on his medical care, and address Power of Attorney, etc.

They could suggest to him that family members could take turns to to be in the home with him while he and the family try out a Live-in Care giver so he and the family can break into having a paid live-in/allow him time to adjust to having hired care around him/his space.

I don't know what area you are in, but feel free to post on my wall and I will post back more custom info on your wall on suggestions based on your area.

A good source for Caregiver's with background checks, etc., is Care.com where you can find tremendously experienced caregivers and/or Care Service Agency info. I initially hired services through Agencies, but rates are pretty high ($18-$20/Hr for Live-out, and close to $300 per 24Hrs for Live-in,) then found that I could source and direct hire Awesome Caregivers with excellent experiences, refs and even certifications to RN levels for less than I had to pay agencies while more fairly compensating these individuals that were there day-in-day out in the trenches with us caring for our grandparents.

Let us know how things go, with all our best wishes!
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No. A patient who is in Catheter and incontinent must not live alone. There are some factors that prohibits him to work independently and He is more prone to fall and accident can happen at anytime. You need someone who could help you taking care your dad while you at work. You might consider to get a caregiver for your dad can be direct hire or through an agency who is specialized for elderly. On the other hand, hiring a direct caregiver does not guarantee you with your caregiver identity and skills and the caregiver is not insured but if you can get an agency who could help you.
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Legally? I don't know. Morally? To me, the main issue is the dementia. If FIL is in his right mind, knows the risks he is taking, maybe allowing him to say "no" is reasonable. But with dementia, he is vulnerable and needs protecting for his own poor decisions. I'd say it is up to his kids to do the protecting (unless someone else has been appointed guardian).

A 7-year-old may tell you he doesn't need a baby-sitter. An impaired person with dementia may tell you he doesn't need nursing care. I personally think it is morally irresponsible to let either of them make those decisions.

What is your spouse's position about this?
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