Follow
Share

My mom is 66 and still independent. She and our entire family are in denial of her diagnosis. Without giving too much detail, my family is very dysfuntional and dealing with them has been a life-long struggle. Setting aside my mother's diagnosis, moving would be a wonderful thing in so many ways for my family (my husband and I have three small children). However, I cannot help but feel very guilty at the prospect of leaving my mother knowing what the future holds for her. My sister and our extended family will make sure she is cared for, but I feel a strong sense of responsibility for my mother. What should I do?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I agree with castoff's comments and would add that once you and your family get your geographical distance, that you get into some therapy to create some emotional distance from your dysfunctional family of origin. Believe me, your husband and your children will love you greatly for doing so. It will help you be more fully present as a wife and as a mother instead of being caught up in the dysfunctional family F.O.G. otherwise known here as Fear, Obligation and Guilt! It sounds very much like you will be the one to break the chain of your family dysfunction by making the changes you have already planned. I could write chapters more, but what I've written has come through many painful life experiences.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

66 is young.
You have a life to live yourself & are needed by your husband and children. Please do not cheat them in favor of your mother who as you said will be well taken care of by the other family members.
You can still stay in touch with your family & visit when you can. If the need arises for her, you can address it at that time. That need may be way down the road and many years away.
My husband and I have postponed our moving out of state for my mother's sake but she is 90, well established here and would have a difficult time moving.
Hope you make a wise decision & not let your emotions get in the way.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter