Can I have my sister investigated for taking me off of mother's bank accounts?

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Is there any way I can have my sister who is POA of my mother, investigated for taking me off checking and savings accounts after she became sole POA. She has moved the cking and svings accts in her name and my mom's name and took me off. My mom is 88 years old and doesn't remember what she does with anything; she does not want to get involved and told me to take care of things to put everything in her will (trust) back the way it was before her atty's retired a year and half ago which was 50/50 between my sister and me. I can't and won't get my mom involved because it would be detrimental to her and I am not willing to sacrifice my mom. I live 300 mile away so it makes it difficult for me to keep tabs on my sister. I feel she is being dishonest with the money and that is what my question is: Is there anyway, without getting my mom involved that I can have my sister audited or see what she is up to?

Answers 1 to 10 of 16
Did she make the POA change because she lives near your sister? Normally, the one closest has the POAs. However, if there is history of financial abuse, the POA should stay with the person who handles the parents' finances as they have directed.
If your Mom is of sound mind, she can make any changes she chooses. Does she know that your sister took you off? Is there a compelling reason she took you off? I am afraid that you will have to get your Mom involved if you really want to insure that sis is doing the right thing. If you do not get her involved, then you will have to live with the consequences.
I have had so much of this going on within my orbit. I wish that all family would understand that, while your parents are still alive, it is THEIR money and assets. Your sis should not be helping herself to Mom's income unless it is directly for her care.
Good luck...these things are so draining!
I'd talk to your sister. Without heat or defensivness, ask her why she did it and if there's a problem? Also, let her know you may not be POA, but you do want to be a part of the financial side of Moms care (and hopefully her daily/weekly/monthly care too if you are local to her). Your Mom needs her children on the same page for her well being and care, so try no to fall out with your sis over this.

I'm the last of 6 siblings and the only one that stepped up. My sibs were very much in denial of Mom's growing disability and financial suicide, so I stepped in. I'll never regret it and to be honest nearly 3 years later, all my sibs are grateful to me for stepping in. (lol! they are grateful that someone stepped in... as long as it wasn't them! but that's ok. I get their trepidation. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my 43 years, even those 80 - 100 hour work weeks I did in my twenties).
Doh. reread my post and need to correct the nearly 3 years statement as its in-accurate. I stepped in financially with my Mom ~ 2004, when I started finding unmailed bills from months before sitting in their mailing envelope with a signed check. LOL!

I officially became DPOA in 2007 and found out someone (prolly a fired agency caregiver) was stealing from Mom's bank account! I've now been doing all her accounting and bill paying since 2007 on a full-time basis. I've been her full-time personal caregiver since 2008, moving into her home ('08) as she needs 24/7 care.
IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT MONEY! WHY CAN'T THE SIBLINGS COME TOGETHER TO MAKE SURE THE PARENT IS WELL TAKEN CARE OF..... AS LONG AS THE SIBLING THAT IS CARING FOR THE MOM IS DOING HER BEST FOR THE PARENT AND U KNOW SHE IS WELL TAKEN CARE OF FORGET ABOUT QUIBBLING OVER MONEY BECAUSE IT TAKES A LOT OF MONEY TO CARE FOR AN ELDERLY PARENT...I KNOW ALL TO WELL BECAUSE I HAVE TAKEN CARE OF MY PARENT FOR 3 YRS. WITHOUT THE HELP OF 5 SIBLINGS! Just be glad u have a sibling that was willing to step in and give the kind of care your parent needs! GOOD LUCK
Top Answer
I am my mother's POA and have a big problem with my siblings living out of state about money and they don't even come here to see Mom, nor send any money to help, etc. I have been my mother's sole caretaker for two and half years now in my home. Currently she's at behavioral health at the hospital due to her wandering/confused due to dementia being progressive, and will be placed in a nursing home this coming Monday. I am so stressed out as it is worrying about my mother. My siblings have accused me of using Mom's money which is silly, Mom moved in with me with only $7,000 in bank at age of 78 when she was first diagnosed with dementia, did not have Plan D for prescription drugs because she was against drugs so we had to pay for her meds in full for one year before Plan D kicked in, then when she reached the donut hole we had to use her credit card to pay for her meds. Also for her dental work, for her eye glasses, things she needed. Now her credit card is maxed out .. why? because her stepson sued for her Life Estate so I got attorney to protect Mom's rights. I gave up so much to take care of her, not enough sleep & rest, no life of my own for more than 2 years! She gets SS monthly which is under $1,000... now nursing home will take the whole of it. Caretakers do not need siblings' bitching about money. Mom ain't rich and does not own a house, property, etc. I've spent my own money on her for food & clothes. Amazing, isn't it?
I am my mothers only POA. I have read that the POA is accountable legally to heirs for any mishandling of funds including bad investments. The first thing I did is remove everyone from Mom's finances. If I am going to legally responsible, let there be no mistake that it was me that did something wrong, not finger pointing as to who did what and who is responsible. When I removed my sister, she had to sign a statement for the bank (BOA) that she consented with the removal even though Mom was with me at the bank and this was her request also. What I do to keep everything above board is e-mail a copy of Mom's electronic monthly bank statement to everyone so there are no questions as to how her money is being spent.

There are legal repercussions to mishandling an elders funds when you are POA.
You may consider speaking to an elder lawyer or going to a book store and buying a book on this subject. In any event, you might speak to your sister and request that she at least send you copies of the monthly statements.

It is a difficult situation whether you are the POA or the sibling without the POA unless everyone is honest and open. Even then there will be disagreements as to how the money is spent. In my case, I receive no family assistance and there were disagreements about spending money on respite care. It is never an easy situation.

OMG. I feel like I am reading my own post. Yes, there is help and I just did it. Contact your deparment of aging in your area and have Protective Services investigate. They will request all bank statments and also talk to your sister about where the money is. Unfortunately, protective services will need to speak with your mother and get her permission for bank statements or what ever else they will need for their investigation. Who gave your sister permission to take you off? Your mother would have had to sign something and you will need to ask your sister for that documentation. My sister has been trying to remove my name from things claiming she is POA and I am to have no information but the companies she is doing this with say I need to remove myself of my mother would have to do it. Please don't back down. After everything my sister has been doing for the past three months don't trust even your own blood. Your sister is trying to hide something but hang in and start searching. You will be amazed at what you will find and it might upset you too but protect your mom. If your gut is telling you something isn't right, you are probably right. Good Luck and God Bless!
It's posts like this, that make me glad I'm an only child. LOL!

Try to look at it from your sister's perspective. If you are 300 miles away and she is dealing with all mom's daily needs, multitude of doctor and health care providers. medications and insurance issues on a regular basis, etc. then it makes sense to do whatever makes it more efficient for her not you.

Maybe the new bank is a better situation - closer, better on-line features, cheaper service charges, etc. You need to ask her why the change and why now.

Do you specifically know that your mom's money is being used in a way that she would not agree to? You better make sure before you "have her investigated" because you could find yourself ostracized from mom and the extended family.

For Nina - on most DPOA there is a hold-harmless clause for whomever is the DPOA. It's my understanding that if someone wants to find fault or "cause" with whatever the DPOA is doing then almost always they would need to do so legally.
And as POA they can use mom's money to pay for their attorney.

Unless you want guardianship or conservatorship of the elderly person you are best served by working with whomever is POA rather than against them. Being POA can be a big responsibility. I did POA and was executor for two maiden "aunts" and it was quite the experience. Still have cousins mad.....



can a closed bank account still be investigated
Yep. Department of Aging elderly financial explotation.

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