sskape2 Asked December 2010

I'm mom's living caregiver, but my brother has POA and visits weekly to see if I'm keeping the house clean and taking good care of her. How can I deal with feeling frustrated about this?

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I am my Mom's live in caregiver but my brother has the POA. He visits on Sundays and checks up to see if I am keeping the house clean and taking good care of our Mother. I feel so frustrated but am stuck in the situation. He has wanted to put her in a nursing home and rent out her house, but I felt strongly that she would be better off at home with help. It's hard to live with this anger at sibling. If I try to discuss anything with him we end argueing. I don't feel I can afford to pay a lawyer. The Alzheimers Assoc might have a counselor I can talk to. I have to hang in here and keep taking care of mom.

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Sloegin Dec 2010
You can challenge the POA, since mama is not in her right mind, the court sees YOU are the caregiver....go with the plan to make you the one who decides! This must be a very stressful time, I pray for your success and the very best care for your mama....
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beta42 Dec 2010
well you have a choice - take care of her or put her in a home- i dont she only gets 700 a month - she doesnt know who i am and sleeps a lot- i take care of her- my husband makes pretty good money so i dont have to work- do yur best and when yur done yur done- u can visit her and make sure shes well take n care of
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SS, You're doing great! It crossed my mind that maybe Social Services can help? or your state's Department of Aging? My situation was greatly improved when I got in contact with the Caregiver Resource Specialist at the Dept. of Aging in my state, and she is dedicated to the support of us caregivers, not the care-recipient, and not the POA, but US. Perhaps you can find some help challenging the POA or Guardianship through on of those resources. It would also be a relief and very empowering to know and have someone entirely on YOUR side through this.
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