My father committed suicide in 1985 when I was 16. My mother passed away February 10th, 2011 after a stroke as I held her hand in Hospice. After grieving for 25+ years over the tragic death of my Father I thought I was equipped to handle anything. I found out I am not. This seems to be getting harder and not easier. My sister and I just finished cleaning out her apartment last Friday. Maybe it's because I have been so busy with the details of finalizing everything after her death that I really never processed it? Someone told me in Hospice that she felt like an orphan after both her parents passed away. I laughed at the time. I totally understand now. I am married with 2 kids, extended family and friends and neighbors who all care about me but somehow I feel totally alone. Like I lost everything.