freshair76 Asked December 2012

Can somebody recommend some good titles on narcissistic mothers and personality disorders?

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Can somebody recommend some good titles on both subjects? There are so many books and so little time to read them all. Which have been most helpful to you all. Also: What kind of personality disorders are "daughters of narcissistic mothers" prone to? :) :( !

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1tired Apr 2014
I get this newsletter, it is very helpful and you don't have to get through a lot of material at once. thenarcissistinyourlife/category/children-of-narcissistic-mothers/
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Smitty Apr 2014
Now she's talking about me to her friend...I"M SO CONFUSED...maybe she's not a narcissist...I don't know anymore
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Smitty Apr 2014
I just bought Children of the Self-absorbed...also am familiar with Danu Morgan's site on Daughters of Narcissistic mothers...You can download an ebook called "You're not Crazy"....i can't wait to read it...

She is driving me crazy today...She treats me so differently than her friends...She treats me like a slave...while I'm taking care of her every damn need, she hasn't once asked me about myself...I need to stop raging at her...I have a real problem with anger and I can't seem to shake it...I just can't handle her criticising the other caregivers...this one is too passive, that one is too fat, on and on...bla bla bla...it's no use trying to get her to stop...I wondered today if she is always criticizing me about my body...her NPD is to blame for my body image and eating disorder when I was 11. Sorry for rambling but it's what my day is like.
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1tired Oct 2013
A friend sent me to narcissistinyourlife. Neat little newsletter format for support if you don't want to dredge through a lot of stuff.
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Whitney Oct 2013
I believe some people (my mother included) actually enjoy complaining. It's one thing to complain about a legitimate problem, but there are some people that no matter what you do for them, it is never enough, and they complain away. There are many different types of personalities, of course, and it is confusing to me to tell sometimes if a person has a true personality disorder or if they are just selfish and/or spoiled.
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I have to agree with Palmtrees1, I have read many books as well as psychiatric studies on Narcissistic mothers and I believe "Will I Ever Be Good Enough" is the best book to read and follow through with the activities in the book. One thing about it is that it's not about blame but rather at recovering from the damages done by Narcissistic Parents and being set free from that prison of low self esteem, self doubt and finding out that our life at home really wasn't about us but all about her mental disorder.
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Labs4me Jan 2013
My elderly mother lives independently, is very intelligent and no signs of dementia could be the queen of personality disorders. She is as follows: codependent, emotionally immature, fear of heights, selective fear of inclosed spaces, hypochondriac, medical attention seeker, extreme OCD, paranoid, chronic complainer, unrealistic, no common sense, technological phobic and the list goes on. This has always been a way of life for her. Her memory is still sharp for 81 years old. Makes you wonder if she has a lot of clones hidden away in her closet. LOL
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MyWitsEnd Jan 2013
I would second emjo's suggestion on Stop Walking on Eggshells. I like the workbook. .My own mother was also narcissistic. I agree that someone who has not experienced it cannot understand the impact one person can have on an entire family. The Walking on Eggshells book really helped me see what MIL was doing and how to adjust my behavior. It also helped me to understand how my own mother's issues have affected me into adulthood. The key is to emotionally disengage. Once you realize you are spinning your wheels trying to please someone who will never be pleased, it can be very liberating. Then, you are free to do the best you can. My MIL is definately narcissistic. I have never seen her get a gift and accept it gracefully. She ALWAYS find something wrong and gets extremely angry that the giver did not know she would 't like it. Then comes the multiple trips to the store to exchange items until she is satisfied. Once I realized her game, I refused to play any more. When she first moved in, she rejected the quilt on her bed as "too warm". So, I removed it and showed her the spare blanket I had left in the closet for her. She rejected it for reasons unknown. What she really wanted was a blanket like the thrown I have in our family room. So, the next day, I went to Target and got it for her. They had a choice of two colors, and I picked the one that would match her room best. When I took it home she rejected it as it is not "her color". At first, I wanted to scream. I briefly thought about going back to Target and exchanging it. Then, I decided no. When she gets cold, I am sure she will rethink the color. I just ignored her rejection. Sure enough, the next night was very cold, and that blanket was suddenly more acceptable. When she gets bitchy, I leave the room. I just won't engage. Sadly, that is often. Last week she got really angry because the clerk at the grocery store wished her a blessed day. Really, there is nothing you can do with someone that miserable.
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Fairydust Jan 2013
Madge thanks for sharing the McBride book - I haven't read that one. I had just had a very disappointing therapy experience recently and sometimes I get discouraged on how much therapy can accomplish. Still I would not wish to be totally ignorant of narcissism because just like you say - they will eat you alive if they can all the while calling it love.
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golden23 Jan 2013
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
Karyl McBride looks good. I have just ordered it, Thanks for the thumbs up Madge
Also "Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder" Paul T. Mason (Author), Randi Kreger (Author) which has a workbook as well,. My mother has BPD and it narcisssistic. At this point I am considering NC (no contact) as the last session with her has affected my health negatively and I cannot afford it. I have been fighting to get my health back, for the last three years.
I have found there are a number of good sites on the internet -DONM is a favourite.
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