I quit my job when my dad got ill and my mom also needed help, is it to much to ask for some money to help out?

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I quit my job when my dad got ill and my mom also needed help, to take care of them in my home, my dad died recently, so it is permanent ... with my mom. I have asked for $300 a dollars for utilities, gas, etc. Is this too much and do i have to answer for it later if she needs a nursing home and they go back five years? I am just starting out on this journey and it is overwhelming and lonely sometimes, very hard life change. Thanks for this forum.

Answers 1 to 5 of 5
Is your mom on Medicaid now? I don't think $300 is too much at all. Are you working?
No she has a pension and SS. I quit to take care of them both in my home. I would like to get back on part time but they are laying off. My mom needs care but for now she can be left alone during the day. When I asked for this amount I felt guilty and also guilty everytime I have to ask for it. This from the reaction I got from her when I suggested this amount. I mean how do you really know what to charge?
Josiah: Yes, it will be a problem in the 5 year look back for Medicaid. If she is going to contribute to the household, then you need to have a written agreement saying that she is paying rent. If she pays the utilities directly and buys groceries that would be better. Medicaid has restrictions as to how much money she can give directly to you. Get some direction on this. I think it's good that your mom in contributing. There's no reason why she shouldn't. Best wishes to you and your mom.
Of course your mother should be paying her way if she can afford to. What is she saving it for -- your inheritance?

This money is not a gift to you, so it should have no bearing on her qualifications for Medicaid. But life will be much easier and future transaction will go much smoother if you take the time and expense now to consult with a lawyer specializing in elder law. At the same time you can take care of such documents as POA, healthcare proxy, healthcare directive, etc., if this has not been done. Get all your ducks in a row and you won't have to worry about it later.
Top Answer
I strongly agree with Jeannegibbs that you should get all of the documents taken care of asap. I noticed on your profile that you mentioned your mom has Alz/dementia. It's important to get some legal advise because she needs to be competent to give you a Durable Power of Attorney, etc. If she is competent now, don't let anymore time go by to get these things done. Until you get guidance, have her pay things directly to utilities and/or groceries, etc.

Depending on your mom's income from SS and pension, she may or may not qualify for Medicaid. Get some guidance now and you will be far better prepared for the future.

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