My mom doesn't see my sisters and they want to take her out. I'm afraid she will become unfamiliar since she doesn't really know them and haven an episode of panic. What can I do?

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Need advice, my sisters who dont come by to assist me in caring for our mom who has alzhiemiers want to take her out she doesnt know them. How should i handle this? I have no problem with them taking her,however she is in the stage of alzhiemiers where if she becomes unfamiliar she will have an eposide of panic!! this may do more harm to her than good. My family should have come to visit frequently(I insisted) and now they want to come and then leave,emotionally my mom will become upset! Again,I will be left to pick up the pieces,what can i do to make them understand she has Alzhiemiers and not just Forgetful. They seem to be in denial STILL. and I am to tired to deal with them.

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This is a hard question to answer if they do not get it they may never understand you may have to just tell them you would like them to visit her briefly in your home but taking her out would just be to upsetting to her and you will not allow anything that will be upseting to her, just tell them once and then it will be up to them to visit in your home or not-maybe they just do not understand how this illness affects her-this may be the first time they have had to deal with this illness-unfortantly this is not unusuall for some family members not to understand what is really going on with their parents-I so hope you can get support-this site has the greatest group of people you will ever meet-it has been almost 3 years I have been here and even though my husband died over a year ago I feel blessed to be a part of this and try to give back a little of all I have received.
You will have to go along with them on their outing. You can explain to your sisters that you aren't sure how mom will respond in unfamiliar public surroundings & want to save them whatever embarassment or difficulties may arise.
Do not dominate the conversation & volunteer to pay your own way.
Your sisters want to see your mom & not you? Sounds strange to me.
I don't understand
I have been Mom's caregiver for 7 yrs now. I am the 5th of 7 sisters. In the begining we all agreed that it would be in Moms best interest if she were in a stable enviroment (my sisters live from day to day) so we ALL AGREED that she would live with me and they would all Rotate Week-ends. It was algood for the 1st 2 1/2 years then I guess it got old for them. One by one they all had excuses as to why they couldnt pick her up either on time(they would call to say I'm headed over have her ready) then 4 hours later they would arrive some times not all. Yes it is Very Strange, now they want to pick her up for her birthday-if it sounds if i'm angry Iam. The Alzhiemiers is very advanced and she doesnt recognize them. When she could enjoy them they couldnt be bothered to take time. I ended up leaving my job to stay with her, I was volunteered into this position,while I have no problem caring for my Mom til the end, I truly don't want to Deal with the pretentious rantings of my sisters, I know I know its about Mom not them. But Mom doesnt even know them. So in essence it is about Them and there selfishness. I should be forgiving but let me tell you It's very difficult Very difficult. In the time Mom has lived with me she has been in and out of the hospital,each time I make the courtesy call to my sisters, each time I watch how they shower Mom with the attention but it only last the length of the hospital visit, and each time I suck it up cause I know its there Mom too and I dont and can't change who they are, I stay Focused on Mom she is the one I love and care about. But I am human it makes me angry, I have spoken to them and explained how Mom needs them but it falls upon deaf ears. I guess I'm tired of all the fake-concern they have,but in the end Mom is the only one who matters :]
I do not blame you for being angry. They made a promise (to give you a break on the weekends) and then after a few years couldn't bother keeping it. I would say let them take your mom and let them deal with any outbursts/panic attack that may happen. Then maybe you would have listening ears when you tell them, again, that if they visited regularly, this might not happen.
I don't know that I would trust your sisters alone with your mom. All of a sudden they now want to take her out together as a group without you? Sounds fishy to me.
Be careful dear.
Oh, I know exactly how you feel. I have 2 sisters that agreed to help out in the beginning with Mom and then it was just like, well Mom's being taken care of...out of sight...out of mind. My sisters also visited Mom when she was in the hospital and showered her with gifts and attention for as long as the visit lasted. My sisters do manage to visit once in awhile and Mom still knows who they are, so that is at least something. You are there in the trenches everyday, so to heck with everyone else and their feelings and you do what you know is best for your Mom.
Emerald while i understand where your coming from,the point is they wont be the ones to deal with the episode, I will. You see they will be gone while i deal with the aftermath. And cast off I do agree, does so fishy so I will be at the outing and will not leave Mom alone with them simply because it is not condusive to Mom Mental Wellbeing. They(my family) can take that and place it where the sun doesnt shine! I Repeat when she could of enjoyed what they NOW want to do they DID Nothing and now cause perhaps they feel a hint of guilt,they may want to do this-It's too late for Mom she doesnt even know them,so who's it for? Them and forgive me but Im no longer willing to apease anyone but my Mom,Husband and our children the rest cant take a Hike!!!!

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