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He is still walking with a walker, she is afraid that he will fall and break his hip. She is his only caregiver, she is doing everything herself. She is barely sleeping, and doesnt feel good herself with fybromiagia/cronic fatigue. I am seeking your advice. What can she do?

MissVW—All are good sleep aids. May I recommend Sleepy Time tea with extra valerian. Valerian is the herbal version of Valium. But it doesn’t give a hangover the next day. Most grocery stores carry it; it’s found in the tea section of the store. This herbal tea settles any tummy ache too.

I hope you and mom can get grandpa settled down at night. All of you need good sleep, as you well know! Good luck!!!

(The box of tea has a little teddy bear with a nightgown on, sitting in a rocking chair.)
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Reply to HolidayEnd
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I have tried alternating between melatonin 5 mg, trazadone 50 mg, cbd oil, and Ativan at bedtime. I alternate because otherwise tolerance is built up. Yes I got a good laugh at " take him for a jog" too.
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Reply to MissVW
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I hope everything is getting better for you guys.
I'm experiencing the moderate phase right now...my gradfather had this disease. I haven't talked to a Dr. yet. But i hope you have lol
Guess I'm just sweating it
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Reply to cotnCanddy2x79
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I know that medications are a difficult decision but talk to your Dr. something as simple as Melatonin may help.If you don't get the sleep you need you will not have the patience necessary to give care. It's 3am and you find yourself trying to convince them that it's night and they should be sleeping. Remember, they have lost their ability to reason, all you end up doing is frustrating them which makes them want to argue.Each person is different and you have to find the way of communicating that yields the best results.
In the meantime a set schedule has really helped in our case, if Dad goes to bed between 8-9:00 he sleeps for longer hours, actually right now he sleeps through the night. I know it sounds strange but if he naps in the day I don't let him nap for more than 15 minutes. He has no caffeine after 2pm, no liquids after 5pm( then he doesn't have to get up to pee) a quiet non stimulating activity about an hour before bed ( puzzles, reading, drawing etc) Lately with the weather change keeping his room the same temperature has been key, he would wake up because he was cold.
Also when he does wake up sometimes I can walk him out to the couch, slowly turn lights down, not engage him in conversation, and just sit until he falls back asleep, then I cover him with a blanket and go back to bed myself.
If you and your love one sleep better you will both be in a better mood the next day. Admittedly putting the schedule in effect was difficult, but once the routine was set it has really helped.
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Reply to 2Carekind
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Glad you got a chuckle out of this 5-year-old thread, Sammyboy.
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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Well I have yo say these " answers" are priceless. I was looking for some help having been eoken up for the 3rd time by my mother and its 4 am and was feeling a bit desperate.I've almost wet myself laughing its been a great tonic.Most the answers seem to recount their own stories rather than suggest some solution, putting aside of course the useful tell the doctor from LouseyMuv to the brilliant idea of taking your grandfather who uses a walker you tell us "for a jog". I bet your kicking yourself why you hadn't thought of that.Priceless absolutely priceless you couldn't make it up.Thank you all. Oh dear my laughing has woken her up again
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Reply to Sammyboy
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All medicine works different for everyone. As far as them getting up at night there is not much to stop them. my mother and I take care of my 76 year old stepfather. I think of him as my real father though. I agree people in our situation should get some kind of help because we do save the state money. It is the saddest thing to realize there is no one there to help. Not everyone has unlimited money but the homes are out of reach, as is home health care. They are about the same. Sun downing ( walking , or pacing for no reason) is one of the reasons we all need help. One person can't possibly be there 24/7. Not to mention we are not qualified to give the care they need. There are some meds that they can give to help sleeping though the night, however they can be costly. We are lucky Mom watches during day and me at night. It did force me to quit my job, because it was cheaper that way. The support groups can give some ideas and some people strength. The thing I would tell everyone is the levels they go by (throw those away) you loved one is different then anyone else. I really hope you all well me too can get some kind of help. Just remember as a care giver making your loved one comfortable starts with you and you need to be well too for that. I would try asking your doctor to help with the sleeping there are meds out there for that. what works for one doesn't always work for another. I hope we all stay strong because there is no way for us to know what they are going through and it gets frustrating sometimes. Stay focused on them , but on yourself too.
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Reply to 01Guardian
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Youtube has a channel of tips about caring for seniors. There is a video on what you can to do keep a alzheimer or dementia patient in bed or keep them from wandering.
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Reply to HeretoHelp21
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A motion detector and/or a baby monitor can alert you that he is up. A better solution is to get him to sleep through the night. Discuss this with his doctor, emphasizing that the solution will help keep him home longer. A doctor would probably try various drug therapies, starting with the most beneign and moving to more powerful choices if the first ones don't work. People react differently to drugs, so adjusts to dosage or a different drug may be needed. Don't consider the doctor incompetent if the first one doesn't work -- trial and error is normal.
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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It is really tough. He sleeps all day. We try to wake him, even take him for wheelchair walks even if he is asleep. Then at night hello? I've thought of putting the bed on the floor so he can't get up with a walker and fall. He's quiet and he can get standing before we can wake up, even when sleeping in the same room. I think he would make more noise and wake us sooner if he had to figure out how to get up or crawl off the bed. Is that mean, I think it is kinder than allowing him to fall and drugging him just makes him more likely to fall. He is scared of breaking his hip, but mnot mentally there enough to stop himself from getting up alone at night. This is a big problem. In the hospital they tied him down, which I understand, yet that is a horrible feeling and I'm sure abusive at home. I agree that the alternative is much more expensive as he would need ot go full time to a nursing home, not have his dog or family and would caost society a lot more. Why can the government have those who are unemployed and on unemployment made available as caregivers while they are waiting for work. I'm sure there are many good compassionate people on the government's payroll who could help our aging society and exhausted neighbors.
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Reply to Tori1925
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ask the doctor for Ativan.......they sleep. or ask for Valium to calm them and they can rest......or take him out for a jog. apparently he may not be getting enough activity, or whatever they give those people in the INSANE hospitals to keep them calm.
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Reply to JudyC
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I am a caregiver of a 90 year old Alzheimers patient. She started getting up at night, getting dressed in the middle of the night and insisted on staying up because she thought it was morning. After many nights of loss of sleep, I was desperate, so I tried keeping all the lights off, except her night light in her bedroom in case she had to go into the bathroom. I had been leaving a light on in the kitchen as well as the safety lights outside the house, which shone in. Keeping things very dark in the rest of the house has worked very well, as she doesn't see any light from inside or outside which was confusing her. Hope this helps you!
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Reply to 2tigger2
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Ambien dose not help! All it dose is makes them sleepy it dose not help keep them asleep. I home care my husbands 98 year old grandmother with dementia and she is up just about every hour. And when I had given her that it just makes things worse. She still gets up and now because of the medication she is more off balance and out of it then she was without it. She walks with a walker and she's pretty off without having something fog her mind and make it worse. I'm still trying to get help with this. I get very little sleep because of this. We do the same thing every night and she gets plenty of light during the day and she still gets up all night. I have home care right now for a couple of weeks since she fell because she was out of it from the sleep aid she took that night. But when that ends I'm on my own again. Its not right when we save medicare tons of money by caring for them at home. We should have help with no out of pocket costs to care for them at home.
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Reply to Debb064
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Ambien dose not help! All it dose is makes them sleepy it dose not help keep them asleep. I home care my husbands 98 year old grandmother with dementia and she is up just about every hour. And when I had given her that it just makes things worse. She still gets up and now because of the medication she is more off balance and out of it then she was without it. She walks with a walker and she's pretty off without having something fog her mind and make it worse. I'm still trying to get help with this. I get very little sleep because of this. We do the same thing every night and she gets plenty of light during the day and she still gets up all night. I have home care right now for a couple of weeks since she fell because she was out of it from the sleep aid she took that night. But when that ends I'm on my own again. Its not right when we save medicare tons of money by caring for them at home. We should have help with no out of pocket costs to care for them at home.
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Reply to Debb064
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Hi,
Sorry to hear what your Mom is going thru. My Mom has Alzheimers also, but knock on wood she sleeps thru the night so far. Although her doctor prescribed Ambien should she not sleep well. Has the doctor been told he doesn't sleep thru the night? He may need to be given something to sleep. Call his doctor and let him know what is going on. I am pretty sure he will give him something to sleep. I am also posting here because my Mother cannot get any type of home health care and I am at my wits end. I am sick myself and have to be her caregiver which I don't mind, but I thought I would never say, it does take a toll on you. I hate this Monster disease, thats what I call it, and there is very little resources to help us out with this.
Hope all works out. There are so many of us out there.
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Reply to MouseyLuv2010
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